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so paul calls me back

like 10pm 5-13-2020 and from the bat asks "you called?" well ive been calling for 2 years and the same issues persist but to be technical no he called me at 530 and texted this earlier today...

but all he will address this time is should i come drop your stuff... not even what stuff. 

i should delete somethings and post all the calls to free Gmail / drive account. im going to be with out internet on the street sans car phone or anything soon. 

gota love how in mn you can take everything from your child for your mistakes with your house. I would have left at 18 if there was any honesty. 

they 2 on one support each other in gaslighting their misdeads. as i turned 18 i had about 6 k of money i made in the bank and thats after spending 1k on a flat screen in 2005 (winbook 32 inch) and 500 on surround and a stand. I had friends I could have worked out living arrangements with and was making 11 an hr telemarketing mortgage refinances plus a performance incentive. I had a law office, a cpa office, a car dealership and a print shop for biz I.T. support clients on top of that and probably 20 or so homes i saw regularly via word of mouth or teachers from jr high to sr high. 

i instead was told if i didnt go to ndsu right away i better be ready to pay for it myself. 

I spent 45 days backpacking Europe and called home once. I had a dream cosmos got sick. oddly he had. they didnt tell me till I got back but a kidney infection almost took his life. There was no calling home for cash. via eu rail i moved my self around from Frankfurt to paris, paris to ...well-intending on venice i ended up first stuck in Modane France then Milian Italy because a train got delayed that day. I had done the international make fun of something when a guy on the train pulled out an 18 inch notebook. He lived in milian and in talking the last part of the train ride gave me his cell incase i needed a translator. I ended up not being able to find a hotel or hostel that night and he let me stay at his flat. 

i still sort of regret not amending my travel plans the next day. Klaudio had just been through a breakup and was looking for a bro to hit the town with. none the less that was the closest to a night on the street i spent in that time frame. also getting out of the apt complex the next day was a lesson in no you paranoid American they are trying to help you. 

the gate on the complex had an electric button to undo the latch off to the side. some elderly woman seemingly angry was yelling at me. when i finally paid attention to what her hands was doing (i speak 0 Italian) it was a gesture to push a button... then i was on my way. 

a note on the mobile number... every time ive been overseas i have had a unlocked gsm phone and used a prepaid sim to enable local calling with out the wallet gouging rates.  actually on the hs trip i had not only sourced a sim ahead of time, i also set up a vonage sip softphone. between that, my laptop and bt headset i was letting people call back home to maple grove with an mn local number from where ever we happened to be in France. again might not seem like much today but this was 2004. im mentioning it here because the overall point does not only have i been able to care for myself for a long time, ability to think ahead and benefit a group or save a life has been demonstrated with that. 

in the pay it forward tradition I signed up for couch surfing my second year at ndsu and ended up hosting 2x. the first time was a french Canadian teacher on a road trip with some time off and the second time was two dudes on a bike trip across the US. Couch surfing kinda got a bad rap as freeloaders but in my experience (albeit limited) that was not the use case I encountered. 

i checked out venice and Rome (highly recommend the yellow hostil if thats still a thing/once covid is over) then came back up to reunite /see the family i had stayed with on the hs french trip the summer before. There were some communication issues there and i ended up with a family that was friends of that family at first but it worked out fine and experiences I would have never been able to pull off alone and memories i still cherish to this day were created. 

but i digress point was even at 18 I was demonstrating I could care for myself. the other thing that happened pre highschool ending was the near death of my dad. I could have looked past everything wrong that day except for the last bit. As my foot hit the step that day (headed to down stairs bedroom in 2004) over my dads shoulder was the antenna to the cordless phone pointed at the tv as if it was a remote control for said tv. 

8 plus hr surgery -----> hs french trip that summer.  ---- sr year --- > my dad had another 8 hr surgery in tx at a specialist this was also my first time flying totally alone. because sr year was a bad time to miss even a day. I waited till he was clear from surgery knowing a week in the intensive care would follow and hopped a plane back to mn. oddly our hs band trip was also to tx that year. i forget which was first. I know on the way back the fact that I had my laptop and could teather my phone enabled us to visit the Oklahoma city bombing memorial. it was a bus trip... you have to remember 05/06 was still a different time as far as "ok google" is concerned. if i recall one of the adults asked if id be willing to mapquest something...aka how to make a detour to get the bus with all the band kids on the way back from sanantonio to the memorial site. but again i digress ----> graduation -----> Europe again ----> last grandma died first year of college.

point of that timeline is i bearly had time to turn around with how much happened so fast in that period and im sure mine wasnt the biggest emotional roller coaster but im also sure it was more action-packed than a lot of my peers. 

I also had the hs limiting how many before and after school activities i could participate in and through it all my parents are assuming im lazy for not meeting whatever arbitrary criteria i was judged on the moment it was tear someone down time. 
Clyders i love you so much.



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