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what a world we created

this is often framed as I think they owe me something let's look at this

everything given was only given with expectations and conditions

nothing was taken by me of theirs , aid was accepted not taken

the diffence being taking implying non concentual tranfer or theft.

at age 13 I first earned for a website for a small biz

more often than not since 16 I've had several non family sources of hrs for dollars income

untill 29 I had good credit and never missed a payment

mold was found in the apt bathroom under the vinel floor left over used as a cubord bottom liner. aka under the bottom behind  door on the vanity

directly across from washer dryer stack

bugs before and after extermination

bugs at parents

working prototypes of all my contracted or personal projects existed before the bleeding started

my dad had agreed to finance a repair and design shop the agreement required pretrg much everything I had on my part. this is what created the dependence as their mold set in

bleeding started 3 months after Cosmos cat died

mold was confirmed in their basement around Jan or Feb 2018

vet suspected environmental mite at their house around Jun 2018

rabbits also had bacterial infection

the average rabbit kept as an inside pet doesn't see past 7 years old. if I recall correctly when i first got the little guy known at the time as brab in 07 he was at least a year old next I got a white and black spotted lion head my friend Sarah was looking for a home for. she was at the time called bandit and iirc a year and a half old. another black bunny who iirc was a Rex and I forget what Sarah called her but the intent was to give her to my friend lea down the hall and he called her Madex

this is kind of an aside but the point I'm getting at is these creatures don't live long unless you account for their needs and make them feel loved

they have unique needs as both a species and preferences as indivigules. and anyone who wants to make an argument they don't have emotions or u or anyone else is projecting, may I encourage you to project yourself a vast distance of an infinetly short cliff of at least double your height? higher is probably better and parachute is optional. I'm pretty sure the longer fall form a higher start point will allow you to open your eyes and maybe pull a rip cord but I'm only concerned with the first part.

I've just rarely heard a convincing argument and watched a lot of bullshit spew including some jewelry posing as humans or npd academics moon lighting as pendants around the throat of sound science do things like:

observe we managed to teach another primate how to communicate in English with a touch screen symbol borad and asl via.. well fingers/sign language.

and then the whacked out tacked out set of probably eugenics loving inbreds go and move the defition of what it is to speak with language and how it relates to being human and concious.

then I've also seen how Clyde responded to Bonnies body.  lifeless and limp. you will never again see me doubt that even small creatures don't feel something like we do and over more than pain or not pain from trying to stay alivebor some excuse to justify non sense that we arnt just animals.

any creature including humans suffers higher odds of early morbidity from a number of causes if they are with out purpose or love. no creature is likely to show or be able to reach their full potential wirh out it either. part of healthy parenting, several stages of human development and love that isn't toxic is recognizing individuality and autonomy of others

There's plenty of strong well controlled studies that suggest things like personality disorders or many maladaptive or harmful to other behaviors have strong learned components.

yet it seems the message is u can't learn or know these things on your own u need to see the giver.. er my bad ur provider cause only they can give you a disease.. er provide anwers about what is a billable Revenue stream in you..

then on top of that the message is rarely if ever for one to seek a second opinion anymore.

or in the case of my mis adventure of the hearsay evidence kind leads to 3 days police enforced detainment at a hospital kind  well the hospital has my phone, the phone has expert testimony and documents relevant to bugs and mold at where I claimed. provider uses hospital policy to dismiss seeing it. there's no legal advice I could find online for if I have to or rather should say a word to this dude who's badge had MD and first name... but knowing what that means I'm going to have to assume on his it stood for mallard duck. is it more delusional to assume u know Jack about someone forced in front of us life as u spend maybe 20 min and selectively deny even viewing other experts conclusions or for me to claim at this point that he opened his bill thinking of his 1st feather account balance and all I heard was quack?

if parody is protected even with copy righted material can one claim defamation when parodying an individual under an oath👌

as I found out not only is a second opinion not recommended or always obtainable but on calling the state bar hotline was told no one is touching these cases (I guess if we just don't call someone claiming to own you and signing over checks and accounts in your name from your mail slavery or any of that is a crime there's no mental leap to say I should be able to fly to any doctor I want on the 28th hour of any day even if my mouth is labeled aviation fuel and the tank is empty or full of dirt)

more disturbing there are what apear to be Corp sponsored or industry run psych publications online that talk about how wonderful it is or at best consider it netural that many people are seeking diagnosis to help define them selves

theses same quasi apear to want to apear reputable sources often have writers that list PhD Infront of their name and either in the article or on the few left with comments sections will tell people it has a strong genetic component. I questioned not now explaing what it is... it doesn't matter. put a list of labels up a ducks ass and pull it out.

why am I so sure of that? what good comes from communicating its something you assume the average rational person was taught is set in stone? aka genetic? is that advice for them that is actionable in any way other than come pad my wallet if u want more?

There's 2 additional problems with this. one being the 300 lb gorilla no he's not hombre but I can't blame u for not having seen her. her it his apaches... name is epi genetics.

while some members of a for profit industry are falling on the old concept most have of how genetics is a stone tablet set at birth the now lead tainted mercury mad 4th Gen incest rmemnice of acadamia marched on and still managed to find that view is deeply flawed. I think the reason we won't hear about this is all about liability.

as far as I can see even with out this knowledge (I'll get back to defining in a sec) a sound medical conclusion is things even as assumed genetic as getting cancer.. well partly because for a while we were seeing a lot more people reach a lot older ages but on a micro level and for the sake of not writing a thesis... my opinion.. even that is better explained by how your genetic code and oredispostusons interacted with exposures to elements/solutiins/chemicals at work and home and what blend of nutrients /chemicals was put in your mouth to enable the systems your code has for repair to attempt to catch damages done and terminate runaway cells with fakatka code. ie even genetic old world view was never as simple as u have it or u don't from birth and wirh complex traits like sexuality I think born this way is a lie but here's a shocker I support gay marriage. a better old world view is perhaps simply defined by the difference between choice and preference.

what u prefer is probably a sum of who you are/your life experiences, your up bringing/formative years and actions or in actions of parents and your code.

you can chose to be different at any point and may eventually conclude u prefer it but I'd argue u can't chose to change your preference in any instant. as far as sexuality is concerned it was a useful ulistratuon of how set in stone is inaccurate and if I edit this at any point could probably be a more smooth Segway to what I'm getting at but it's an example of another thing argued we don't cobtrol when the truth is there is an element of cobtrol to it but the and saying otherwise is a different kind but probably as damaging to our species as it is to an indivugle to suggest to another they should feel bad for like liking who they like

back to epi genetics though. as far as I understand this is the discovery that after birth parts of your code may activate or deactivate and in some instances those changes can be passed to future offspring

which probably explains liability if you can put together elemental exposure /life/ workplace exposure might fuck up family lines and be more linkable to any thing taught as genetic or old age.

and back to psych.. what's the daame done when we teach u need this expert but the expert might be more concerned with the next pay grade or get rx kickbacks.. have incentive clouding their mind?

if any condition is likely to have a strong parental component yet the Dr's pay is even dependent on having a min number of clients (not nesicarly a priv practice where losing one is a direct wallet hit)

well in this model there's definitely incentive to keep a parent patient coming back and in that exists some moraly sketchy possibilities starting with writing of a child acting outs behavior on genetics all the way to wanting another patient so encouraging mom or dad to bring the little genetic but clearly not the parents fault (musta spontaneously generated in the fridge) trouble maker and giving another life a label phrma a revenue stream and either securing his or her own financial security or padding wallet that much more.

but what if what's being suggested is even possibly preventable to largely learned behaviors and pretty clearly a result of needs unmet by care givers

where's even the incentive to try to explain that?

is the message that things are genetic and you can't blame the parents not dangrous to the next generation in this case?

what about when sympathy and empathy can burn out?

have u ever considered the possibility that exposure Mal nutriin stress and or more obviously injury may decrease iq?

if so but in progressive shades rather than instant extreams

does the possibility one could lose cognative ability and be unaware?

what are u using to conclude you're as smart now as u ever have been? oh...

ever what it's you just don't think about anymore? how about the times where someone shit on you when they were suposed to have your back? did that ever cost opertunities? did that lead to hardships?

it's not comfortable to consider that it might lead to early death. or reasonable to be concerned with every single meal or action as it relates to maintaining cognative or physical health.. don't get me wrong

but what are we doing and isn't this the other extream?

those psych blogs I mentioned are increasingly pushing the idea that children may be abusers of parents rather than most kids acting out have needs not being met some maybe have brain damage or disabilities

but even most of that is linkable back to choices made by one or both of the parents.

yet the message is increasingly don't blame the parent and u need some medical authority to define yourself even if what they tell you is in a corps best intrest or their own

yet more and more and as someone aware of confirmation bias with logic to minimize it I still can't help but conclude this.

this is


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