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Sunday, June 14, 2020

anxiety depressing and conditioned hopelessness. plus substantial risk.

I am scared for my life. I did well in every health class I ever had. you don't need to be a doctor to know these conditions are about as bad as it gets longevity wise. factors I know about my past and recent med exams past med advice... none of that is allowed to be in line with mitigating personal risks

nothing on the horizon looks to get better.  no officer has witnessed me so much as raise my voice and yet after a year and a half of standing between me and 16 years of tools, kitchen things and keepsakes. everything earned or ever mine

including the remains of Bonnie rabbit. which during "you don't live here anymore" and 5 hotels were addressed to me at thier house

including my specialized stump jumper Mt bike. that for 4 summers in a row I road the ms150 on.

Which is a notable object because at least twice maybe three times Maple Grove TV heard me asking for it and at least once even asked my parents if I could have it the answer is yes but then in order to save time we'll do it the next time you're down here. I don't have it still that's supposed to coping mechanism vitamin production aide good for blood glucose levels something I enjoy something that's mine it doesn't fucking matter anything else it's mine I have a right to own property some property more crucial to life than others if you don't think so give me all your stuff officer this is fucking insane. Maybe you deal with it better in that hypothetical but the amount of time but this is got on for the amount of reports you've refused to let me make this is so fucking sick I haven't been charged or convicted of any crime. They have me ripping the trim out of there moldy ass basement take all my things they be the player crazy for it with help of Maple Grove PD by removing the car from the hotel lot when I just didn't live there anymore that was November the mold have been confirmed in January. 50 ft by 8 ft tall Wall came out 1500 square feet of carpet and pad and I get a picture of this after I get out of the mental ward. Doctor in there refuses to look at or let me show him because they took my phone on check in standard operating nothing I did. I tell him I have email with the mold guy mold Pro I said cuz I knew what Matchbox syndrome was so I stuck with the hard facts the relevant expert testimony is what I told them I had he dismissed it with patients aren't allowed phones on the ward. PubMed says 100,000 US citizens a year die from Bad medical records bad charting other estimates are as high as 250,000. I didn't even ask to see this fucking doctor I was told because of hearsay from my dad no report of anything at the hotel from anybody at the hotel I had worked all day online otherwise quiet if my keyboard bothered someone well that's not my problem they are probably who should be in the mental ward. In other words I didn't make a fucking peep I was working on a web server for pay in another state by the hotel internet they took the car from the parking lot stranding me. The result Maple Grove Police uses a threat that I'm going to get a cab by a sledge hammer and Hammer the stucco outside their house put me in a fucking 72-hour hold. And keep in mind this was after the locks changed and I'm separated from everything mine with zero notice I didn't live there between 2006 and 2018 I moved back in and six months later they changed the lock now I'm at the hotel the temporary housing where I apparently live but I can't file theft they gave them my stuff moving out is what I was told well let's strand him without . And the result is a medical record after I'm forced to clean their moldy basement that says the mold is in my head but in a psychological context.

Buy a doctor who I jokingly refer to as a mallard duck because that MD couldn't have stood for what you would assume. But I would assume that if you quack instead of reading the oath or taking the oath you might be able to use that as an excuse for those actions
Rachael Ray Swiss chard Italian sausage gnoochi
Sushi I don't recall where possibly Fargo possibly Minneapolis

This was Dempsey's in Fargo great place good music Live I hope the owners other venture but this started around the time I left is still still going strong as Royal but I only recommend Dempsey's if you're ever in Fargo. I can't remember the name of the other one for the life of me there's like a beer hall German complete with nope Das Boot
Fargo apartment panorama I live next door to this building the year before and when they were building this it actually burn down. It was weird I woke up just about went back to sleep and then my brain registered there shouldn't be red dancing light in the room anytime of day or night the apartment building that your head walk out on all of the first floor and my unit faced this Construction it's off to the left of the Panorama side so basically my bedroom window the only thing between the fire building on fire and the apartment was a row of detached garages and about 200 ft Maybe and walking out the door I can feel the heat it was crazy. 


That was this apartment. As said else where all these Living Spaces are areas I set up no one helped me when I bought the shelving I got yelled at even though it was my money I was wasting according to them. Actually by shelving I mean the drawers you see in the background here with the printer on top one of oh I don't know for that I own but have zero








st cloud apt 1 and neighbors at apt(down the hall). This picture was 2015 2018 they bought a house. On my 30th birthday I'm sitting at my parents the mold has been confirmed for 4 months and I'm sitting there in Terror cuz not a things that has been followed and I'm pretty much trapped blatant gaslighting attacks any time I leave the room envious to invite me to their house to celebrate my birthday. Two weeks before my dad had come to me about how he doesn't have enough friends so he feels so empty inside. This is while if I leave the house at all I'm yelled at and up to no good if I stay I'm told I'm delusional need to be medicated going to be in the psych ward or they're going to drive me down to Minneapolis and leave me under a bridge. Notably fucked up because that's been when my mom talks about her worst fear in life it's being poor under a bridge so what we have there is possibly the shallow affect. Definitely projection when you combined both parents tell me where the same person. Not everybody who comes from mental illness will get it some of its genetic some of its learned we have this whole new study told epigenetic that shows that what's being done to me right now is pretty fucking likely to hurt me. These policies are great at creating a lot of dysfunctional underlings not much else. But my dad tells me he doesn't have enough friends and as nicely as I took told him I can't be your support when I'm trapped here and being torn apart in every way and lied to. He took my fucking keys to stop me from leaving on my birthday. I hadn't had a drop to drink he was asking me to go to the bar during all this why I'm saying I have projects contracted by Third parties that I have obligations to meet I haven't seen these two in 2 years. Yep they remembered me finally I would assume enough that they invited me to their house anyway after years of not seeing me. My dad blames this puny little snow storm. In 2006 when a Maple Grove Senior High teacher committed suicide I drove to Fergus Falls in one of the worst blizzards I've ever driven in. I lived in Fargo for 8 years drove in every storm never wrecked never stranded. The real tell tale of what it was about when he took my keys was about an hour later he knocks on the door to the 10-foot by 10-foot moldy prison cell that my mom declared she was landlord up until I can afford to move out and while they weren't paying me for services valued at 150 an hour performed on drop everything you're doing I need computer help. Well he knocks on the door and wants me to ride around shotgun because she likes driving in the snow

This picture is notable because it's 6 months after my one unit was sprayed with growth hormone control.

My one unit and some of my lanyards because you know I love potential endocrine disruptors so Granite City pest can snoop. 


USB microscope picture taken either at my parents house or my old apartment found on my laptop I'm not exactly sure what that is but that's about 200 times magnification and it's not a normal part of a human or anyting manufactured. Very well could be some sort of fungus or mold I'm not going to say I know that for sure I am qualified to say it shouldn't fucking be there.




A picture on the bottom extends the left of the picture on the top there's a wall between and the picture on top was my high school bedroom also the first few weeks I was being forced to sleep down there and it happened to be the worst room in the house

They played general contractor when they finished this basement in 2001 it was their decisions when I was a teenager that created these problems mold is especially at risk for the immunocompromised and known to travel on clothing on clothing kind of like my mom walking into the NICU at Children's. I talked about what Maple Grove PD has done to me a lot I don't want to get anybody in trouble what's been created is situations that might end my life leave me disfigured disabled after a year-and-a-half of being ruled around for decision I had no part in when I was a minor
The people they put in control of all my things weather earned over 16 years of having an income sometimes multiple or ever given show every sign of full-blown cluster B personality disorders. These parents are known to harm their children for life how to sabotage adult children A system that has no account for that no accountability for anything said by the people enforcing it's only going to harm people eventually that will harm or destroy the economy because not everybody fits the same mold not everybody learns at the same rate not everybody finds what they were meant to do or what they're good at at the same rate some people have problems taking tests I'm one of those people. I can teach myself very well though and it took me awhile to figure that out. That doesn't say anything about in between low or the fact that I earned. If the moment you're unemployed you have zero rights and all of your assets can be taken you don't have the right to own anything and never did.

The conditioned helplessness is they've taken two things I need every time they've given anything during the last year. Then like the power inverter had purchased some obscene amount of time like 30 hours well I know my dad's own them before they're pretty unique device 12 volt or cigarette lighter plug on one end wall outlet on the other but he needs to know what color it is he can't tell me if he had if it's a power inverter unless he knows that it's maybe red. But he needs to know the color dad you just said it I don't know what color it is John like fucked up games like that. Meanwhile Maple Grove PD telling me how much they give me I should be grateful and we have quite the life.. Vigilante justice with a badge and a gun doesn't it make it less vigilante justice

Is this concept of separation of powers laws that they could have been enforcing our I needed notice for the lock change this is insanely dangerous to anyone do it to say and do what has been done. No one should be expected after relocating or at all on any rooms to have zero noticed you just don't live there anymore you can't file theft. And that's not something anybody should have to be able to communicate. In business school I learned objects that you buy are a store of value. They're not as liquid as cash or some other Investments but they're an investment none the less or Value Store. Well Maple Grove Police consistently and repeatedly have ignored my mail is being opened my mail is being held at least one check has been taken from my mail my name signed on it which they can open anything as the police told me but only in the steak they can't hold it and what they do with it determines fraud. I was under the understanding mail is protected because as an adult your signature and even your word is supposed to be your deed and bond and to enable mail to maintain that with distant companies that's why mail is protected. Overcome that for another adult you need legal custodian of ship which they do not have

Around the time they filed for the ofps or rather two days after it passed in my absence because they file them Hennepin after picking that I lived in Stearns under threat of all of my stuff destroyed sign this lease. The only time they have ever picked an apartment for me and I moved out in 06 it's still empty to this day I was supposed to be out three months ago because the landlord did not like clean the mold car here or lose all your things. I have all the recorded calls for 2 years between everybody I've talked to I can easily show there was intent to terrorize. I can't do that if I'm dead on the street just on the street this is insane. They took the fucking garage door remote and my ID 2 days after the ofps passed
2 * tried to call and Welfare checks scpd Car on the second time and didn't think that was a good use of police power. Then unbenounced to me that they had the garage door opener my MIG welder welder but with a savings bond my grandmother had left me that had matured my desktop computer custom built by me parts I paid for and a compound miter saw disappear from my garage. Stern said refuse to serve the ofp s making them inactive when I drove down to Maple Grove on May 22nd Maple Grove ignored that I knew they had my idea at the time they gave me a bad with things I didn't ask for or need they just selectively give me something every once in awhile from all of my stuff that they're holding in a condition it's still growing there mold because when they have the house remediated they put all my stuff in the fucking third garage stall a nurse practitioner knows but I heard the mold guy tell my dad twice you control moisture to control mold growth three times I bought desiccant but have not been allowed to use it on my things being damaged most of them are damaged from moisture alone without mold growing my health is being damaged I just want to eat a fucking decent meal and get side body taken care of I want party remains but I don't know where to put a notice I was supposed to be out three months ago this is fucking insanity


I don't want to name names but I watch my Dad recently text me that he was unaware I've ever worked anywhere. Well in 2006 a guy that currently as far as I know works for SEIU Local 284 ran for district rep of 50b. I would bet you could use that without me directly saying the name if you wanted to double-check that but I don't wish to give out contact information for someone who is not otherwise involved other than to leave some cookie crumbs here if I'm dead and they're telling people that I was just some worthless screw up but that was somebody he knew so there's no arguing but that wasn't a direct lie. On my Facebook I have text logs where a few days ago he outright claims never to have call the welfare check and I had turned my phone off with how much they were blowing me up and especially from my mom's number when all the years before she had maybe called me four times like I'm not kidding it was not more than five because when I left in 2006 she told me if I didn't call her on a set schedule that I paid and then stuck to she would never call me and she pretty much never violated that and still. Until the ofp because sociopaths and narcissists especially covert narcissist there's one doctor that is making a case of deception as abuse and a few other articles I've seen talking about they play cultural norms often as a way to hide or way to get a footing well they know that her making a claim because gender is involved that's the only other explanation I can think of considering phone logs would show sheep never called me. Probably around June in 20 19 I haven't left the car I'm in their driveway trying to get stuff I needed and at that point I knew better than to set foot off out of the car but I had the door open she tried as she keeps getting closer to me closer closer while we're talking she's telling me I'm crazy still even though they paid for the remediation now her reason is changed because I'm too angry with you killing me Bonnie and Clyde at both died reasons they should both be alive I still don't have her ashes. But the point is here that's a power move if you keep getting closer and closer and gaslighting of narcissistic abuse in general causes brain damage at least a growing body of evidence suggests that but it's not really hard to figure out to me. You tell someone repeatedly from a position of power that everything they do is wrong or they haven't done it well you dress like things that are unrelated but just to terrorize or even things they've done and the more Authority the more trauma the more brain damage Minnesota system is set up to create dysfunctional adults and then pass it off possibly for purpose to the medical system I know a lot of people won't ever deal with this because most parents aren't like this but it sure as hell not just blaming the victim it's destroying the victim. Most people want murder either but that's never been a reason to abolish laws on murder


Minnesota's ignoring especially Maple Grove PD so many violations of actual law and then they just try to use the Civil thing to separate me from everything I've ever owned paint be violent and put me one step from becoming a criminal. I went to them told them I have calls indicating the one DV report that hearsay was backwards and in general reports are falsified as punishment. The State Bar Association told me to communicate unreliable witness and the answer after saying all that was if we put that on record we might be liable the same conversation they talk about the mail and said my dad had said he owns me in fact she had said it Two Times by then. It's not illegal to say you own someone well when people with guns put someone else in control of everybody else is asset and don't enforce laws on allowing accounts and contracts to be forged hijacked control whether money already in their name goes what the fuck is left








































Above is the mail but had Bonnie's ashes I got a picture of the contents after he opened it they still have it. In every way they can traumatize they do they pretended to lose her remains they have control of there was a lock of her forever and they took it with the mental hold card I can't even mourn the loss of pets because one what is still in my fucking freezer two I can't do anything I normally would do with the things I own. 3 I hurt because I'm eating shit diet for people steal things from me right and left and right wrist and things I have to get on top of but it's not a list of any normal opening someone took 16 years of me doing that I keep taking every step forward to make ten back. 

bellow video) 
This is rather basic I was just playing with it because it was cheap from China low voltage LED control which I ended up installing between a power supply and their under cabinet LED lighting in the kitchen in their house. Which wasn't hugely complex but I did it for all of $2 that the module cost emo cutting the low voltage side of power supply soldering wires poor connection total heat shrink over. Then they could dim and turn on and off their under counter lights with a remote. Which they immediately stuck with double-sided adhesive by the light switch for the rest of the lights in the kitchen so you can walk in and turn on just the cabinet lights if you're there at night. I'm on other Tax Services performed well you might know what a hard drive is do you know what a raid array is some people reading this certainly will but Medford computer's hours working on imagine are quotes right now their computers, are machines I built for them the basement one had a raid 1 array it needs external backup not much I can do about it. The drives were old like way past replacement so when I mention that they wanted those replaced so I found slightly larger reliable drives I space the order so I didn't get to from the same batch rebuilt the Raider ate my dad was a public school bus driver than a union organizer my mom's a nurse practitioner these aren't things they taught me these are things that since 200 for I've done professionally for small business and then NDSU these are Services valued at $150 an hour. Is there rights violated in ways that me kill me the leave no hope for any future when it becomes pretty obvious the police won't do anything if someone hurts you




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