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Friday, July 24, 2020

another tactic

both my mom and dad will communicate and play with tenses in a different contexts. with the desire to make it as confusing as possible.

like telling me once

"I couldn't find the car where you said you left it. I reported it to the police im going to do that now" 

or me: "dad you've said twice now you think you own me what the fuck why are you doing this?"

"I dont think i own you but i do think i bought you"

note the shift is easy enough to miss or for a stranger reading one convo to overlook or attribute to non intentional causes. but it took years for me to realize this happens more often when they are in positions of power and or can threaten my life with them and in rage mode. 

my dad pretends to have given me bonnies ashes one day while asking why the car is not remediated yet/do it faster command. 

"no i dont have them here, we gave them to you" drawer in the entertainment center is audible over phone "nope all i have here is cosmos, you must have lost them" shortly after he hangs up and like 10 min later i get an "ooops sooooooorrry call"

then march 4th 2020, my mom takes the phone from my dad and does her usual "HERES THE DEAL ", im saying no theres no you from power telling me how wrong i am while killing me, you fucked up and you try to force your reality of i have to be the favor meanwhile dad does things like pretending to lose bonnies ashes to terrorize and you both use the position of power granted by your lies to police to force labor and destruction or homelessness and destruc tion

drawer sound over phone again "nope bonnies ashes are right here" 

again playing the cut apart what was said selectively focus on one part, feign not understanding the tense aka event described was in the past then fail to address any other part of it. 

if i stay entirely calm the best is i hear the phone being set down sometimes 30 seconds later they come back and say hello sometimes just *click*

they came via usps addressed to me. he opened the package and has held it since Nov or dec 2018. 

problem is rage mode can be pointing out what they do is threatening my life. bigger problem their tactics include two amplifying traits

lying to police and courts about mental stability of target
attempting through several means and conventional gaslighting styles to attack that stability

then add police overlooking holding id, id theft, mail fraud, check fraud and enforcing destruction of all tangible assets..

i dont want to be alive anymore and good news is...pretty soon i wont have to kill myself. 3 years total of supersize me fast food diet despite knowing how and having cooked for myself since figuring it out (starting in) 2007... cant do that with only clyde rabbit in my freezer in my kitchen. nothing in cupboards or to cook with. 

but my dad assures me he cant see the problem "we stalked it with bibb" 

i really hope but know that does nothing... i really hope no one else reading this experiences losing living beings close to you while someone ensures you have no stability of location, labor forced under threat of destroying 16 years of earned assets, two much physical pain and indicate needs interesting with even the ability to greive or process the loss let alone horner your friends gone. 

the really sick part is then when the abuser knows you have no transport and is ready to discard to a cold period... in Minnesota they just run to civil court and file an ofp. where if you cant make it to defend yourself, it passes and becomes no warent arrestable express pass to criminal. 

it puts the lotion on its skin and mgpd plus Minnesota finish it off again. 

then the masses that yeah we should end violence against women... (instead of people in general) are surprised or just lead to belive its not going away or even bigger... almost like theres not profit from the feds for arresting men on those charges or like the groups that lobby to play with law aren't not for profits that pay their stake holders handsomely.

almost like they train us to see each other as enemies so those who profit from the inhumane destruction of otherwise decent people base on hear say or get job security from it can keep the money train rolling. 

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