CSS pop

Monday, September 28, 2020

Non Sequitur & Thirsty Horses

I wanted to post something constructive. I haven't seen a whole lot of articles on how to support those experiencing npd or aspd abuse. I have a feeling some just dont get it. Others have got it a bit too hard too often. Not claiming this is great but here's a crack at "it" 

Hypotheticals

If your house is burning down... 
Do you blame the passing flock of birds? fish in the river?

If your Boeing 737 max is pointing its nose at the ground,,,
Do u send the CO pilot to investigate the lug nuts on the landing gear?

If your Samsung note 7 is on fire in your pocket
Do you adjust the air conditioning in the room?


Logical Analysis

So we're probably all in agreement that the above do not follow. Or the above statements are at all a non sequitur. But actually, I should point out if for whatever reason Birds got it in them to pick up burning twigs it might be a worthwhile failure analysis to blame the birds but while the house is burning no. There's no conscious intent by the bird. People on the other hand who want to hurt you need blame assigned or you will be hurt. Here's something that bugs me no pun intended


What the child of a true narcissist experiences

if your house is burning down and your parents are sitting on a near by hill with a sniper rifle and can of gas... 

as you doge bullets trying to Bucket Brigade your house in the background and or in your face someone will insist 

"YOU CAN'T  BLAME YOUR PARENTS" 

And if you take a direct hit to the heart the social stigma will keep anybody from helping you. This needs to stop.


More of an Attack Than Constructive Criticism

Especially in my case as an only it's very hard to hang on to the fact that they will actively sabotage. No one wants to believe that especially not the person whose parents are doing it. No you aren't probably that person if you're saying me above and if you were God help you. you've live to become the sickness you despised.


a street lamp that illuminates via gas 
the literal Gaslight

regardless of my case or anyone else's... the above depicts what the person is already up against. 

you might think so what they lie you know it happened. smart abusers do it from a postion of power and or starvation. for example only once has it been acknowledged I've been hungry by my dad. my mom won't say it but knowing I have no kitchen responds with go to the food shelf

other times my dad will outright deny having made me go hungry and that's just the tip of the ice burg. this required and is still dependent on police selectively non enforcing with one sided bias after participating for a year and a half after a 0 notice lock out eviction. 

u wanna argue the definition of forced? gets to pick where u live, empty apt their mold problem vis a vie car. no tools, open mail, hold mail hold if steal ID, sign my name.. 

Basically you're arguing that well I can't use force in the example so let's say I'd give you the oddly named floor pill with the roof fetish. Now you wake up in another state with nothing and I'm going to continuously intercept your mail I've got your ID and I'm going to steal from you in between even if you do make anyting and I'm going to be poisoning you the whole time. The police don't even care that a check is endorsed with my name without my knowledge or permission from my mail. I think we're at the definition of forced or anyone arguing otherwise is a bigger piece of jewelry than myself (hangs on a chain around the neck.) (pendant) 


it's not just a matter of the occasional lie. and usualy not done in an easy to escape situation. it's someone you love hurting you and insisting you need to stop hitting yourself. 


if someone is under attack by a npd aspd or occasionally bpd individual whatever their relation is to the other... it's not yours and yours *most likely. aka that person may look like the friendly mom, happy go, lucky dad, in public... they won't act like their target is human in seeking revenge and it might be over as little as a perceived ego slight. The people with these disorders if they're intelligent they are threatened if they're intelligent they also realized where they differ from most people long before you met them. You don't see who they are it's hard for people up close to them daily to see who they are if you see them once a week month year you probably have no fucking idea Bend to you they might be that good person until they're not.

back to our fictional parents taking potshots at the victim with a bucket trying to salvage what they can (of their life and self) while ducting High caliber rifle rounds

Do you think telling them its a bumblebee or its them is going to help? are you doing it out of concern for them or because it makes you uncomfortable? Through some amazing coding using wifi reflections and signal strength I've managed to paint a picture of the person who says you cant blame....

psych! i just coded a mirror :D

High School never ends because we're never taught how to grow up. 

If you want to learn how wrong you are about getting and maintaining financial independence = be all and end all of adulthood, maybe you should look up Bill Gates. 

IIRC he lived in his dads basement until around 30. 

working your way from 0 at 18 sucks, you probably deserved better. that doesnt make you any more or less of an adult than anyone who happens to find themselves on hard times for what ever the reason. it relatively speaking might make you the rich brat. nobody should have to take the path you did though. if you want a world of your clones... consider a trip to the dr yourself before you recommend it to someone else. we have this nasty pandemic of cant see outside ourselves and its right in line with the traits of cluster b disorders. some people can do things you cant. you might have abilities others dont. people have to find their nitch and thats really not doable with rounds flying over their heads. 

There's a lot in between full-blown personality disorder and healthy. I can't claim that I'm always the healthy I do know I'm not a full-blown personality disorder. I also know that those of you who think fucking makes you good parents and no one else will understand because parenting is hard and you won't understand until you're a parent you're on the right track to do wrong. 

But to wrap it up: Anybody under attack from a narcissist a sociopath or the occasional raging borderline(to a lesser extent) 

if you want to help them it's really easy to remind them what they're good at.
Remind them they arnt crazy. its a common tactic.
don't overreact if they say things about the person attacking. you dont know and if you arnt willing to try to understand then leave the robe and gavel on the coat hanger.

  •  offer a couch for the night.
  • offer a few bucks. Either as a loan or as hey take it you need it 
  • don't put yourself out even kind words usually help. 
  • offer a distraction. ones mind stuck on one track is not usually conducive to problem-solving
  • offer them an ear. but if you do this do not judge. listen putting yourself in the story as if you were living it. its ok to tell them how that would make you feel and or validate their emotions. friends, couples... not just npd abuse victims... mirroring is something that helps people bond, overcome trauma and or find peace. 
  • If your name is Mike Tyson offer them stitches and their ear back. 

Whatever you do though staying silent is better than publicly chastising or appearing negative. 
remember when a tray dropped in the lunchroom? if someone is burning down everything one works for and taking pot shots while playing the covert mind fuck ops... the last thing this person needs is for your "get over it" to inspire a heard "ohhhhhhhhhh" or similar repeats

 the real basic rule here, keep in mind its between you and the person  aka are they talking shit to you? or possibly venting to someone else? no you don't need to defend their friend, spouse, the parent or give yet another non sequitur. if you in any way are confused but don't want to harm the person there is one simple rule:

 if you don't have anything nice to say












===============================================

little shameless plug of some friends on my mind bellow


Clyders was about as good a listener as they came. 

Bonnie

Clyde, Bonnie & Cosmos taught me more about unconditional love and how to interact with people than many people have. Animals do feel something like we do. You wont change my mind. your phone and your laptop have totally different architectures connecting the transistors that make the cpu yet both can render the same webpage. this is to say nothing of the after... but at the moment, dont kid yourself some people out there are more basic than an ARM chip. I'm looking to be RIS C myself.


this kills me. he wanted to lay down so bad and i didnt realize it. I drove him up to the vet so he didnt have to wonder what happened and why Bonnie. God then he had to wonder why i was on top of him. fuck you mom and dad. Dad I would trade a day with either of my rabbits for the last 10 years with you alive. mom im not sure you are alive. 

if not for mgpd deciding i was in an empty apt with a matress and clyde. then paul deciding i had a moldy car because snow blew threw it after force lease signed... clyde should still be alive.  there really isnt much nastier you could do to a person. except 

"what wasted time?! I DIDNT TAKE NOTHING FROM YOU"

taunting over having Bonnies ashes (he opened the package in the first picture) and another held letter from the vet meant to retraumatize/ remind me he still has Bonnies ashes. Then Marlene recreated the bit about pretending to lose them while playing "idk what tense is " game march 4th. 






A little black kitty I named after the heavens.
Cosmos
That reminds me, if you live in the northern hemisphere... look up tonight or tomorrow. arura is supposed to be strong. 


No comments:

Post a Comment

 It just dawned on me. If you want to see evidence that black people are no more inherently violent than white people Martin Luther King and...