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Sunday, September 13, 2020

conditioning incest terror

 we know now (sci does) that adaptive or Mal adaptive behavior is learned by association and repetition.


this is perhaps the key in why parents of the cluster b variety can be so corrosive. if we step back from the moments extream trauma is caused an their tendency to reference this and retraumatize as often as possible and especially during rage episodes. 

but day to day rage or otherwise is more gray area of subtle damage. mine both have this anything I say today is your past present and future game. 

both outright have said "I get what I want when I want" 

problem is when police enforce this and when laws like mail fraud and check fraud arnt enforced... when attempted murder is over looked. when police put them in control of 16 years of things worked for and everything earned via 0 notice lock change eviction... when no legal presidence police enforce this year an d a half pre ofp when burglery and taking anything they can at any opertunity while giving toxic mold.. 

but also telling me it's your fault you are hungry just go to the food shelf. 

at first the police responce was somewhat understandable 

but I get recorded admission the dv report was her trying to kill me and she follows up with but I still hope I don't half to. 

the police tell me "if we put that on record we might be liable" and of course double down on enforcing the harm. 

which when u learn that despite parents falsely reporting but not pressing chageges means 0 because da can over rule them and press anyway. when u lean this from not having a desk or printer... terror

while they have taken every thing of mine including kitchen stuff and my pstd therapy animals..  I haven't had issues for years now but 04 finding my dad almost dead resulted in mild pstd which I saught psych services for. how I had Bonnie and Clyde rabbit at aptments ever since was a therapy animal note from what ever doc starting with who I saw way back. 

Which you could argue were they really needed but.. I'd encourage you to consider what differentiates cpstd from pstd. esp when Paul and Marlene went out of their way to look responsible for Bonnies death and causal or not she didn't have to die that day. 

then 

threaten to even lose Bonnies ashes while denying the mold they paid to have fixed for them. mold they caused with decisions on their house when I was a minor. mold they were forcing me to clean from their car for 9mo despite me stating at start.. this is a horrible use of my time, unsafe, might not be doable here and here's what it would cost.. ignoring all of that. tell me maybe my assets and belongings mgpd put them in charge of 0 notice eviction.. maybe those end up donated or recycled.. gone... then work faster.. 2x 4 days hungey 2x 3 and more shorter periods Inbetween. 

well they make commands from a postion of power.. often not possible or that will result in hunger for following and emotional trauma with physical risk to life for following but when they are allowed to steal my id or hold it, threaten all my things.. including tools they admit I've earned with in past. 

police and now the court in my absence has put them in a massive postion of power while they use it to basicly terror condition. 

damned to dead If I do; damned to dead if I don't 

Inbetween every healthy habbit I've built and coping mechanism I learned is on hold to repeatively set back by theft the police turn blind eyes to. while things like go to good shelf are impractical but not only have they kept me from all the kitchen stuff I had to figure out how to use over all the years since 2006... there's been several different plans for what I have to do to get it what hoops to jump.. and starvation Inbetween 

to make someone go hungry is to terrify to do so having stolen I'd and threatening the remains of a pet had since 07 while the other is in their freezer in an otherwise empty kitchen 

while claiming they do it to their self but uve stolen their if opened their mail and forged their signature, falsified police reports and drained them of even ee bonds left by grand parents ensuring do as we say or hunger... 

while trying to impose lie after lie for justification... or stop hurting yourself. 

worse yet.. when I was losing my baby teeth as an adolescent one was wedged between two adults. It picked Dec 2017 to fall out. dentist told me not to wait more than 6mo and mn care doesn't cover much if anything. it will cost about 5k to get a dental implant. 

I made 2k in 2019 but even that went to tools to fix their car. then they just file ofps while my dad's story goes from 3mo into 2018 while hiding keys and disconnecting battery lead in car.. while I'm working on their moldy house... 

"you idiot I told you I'd pay for it" to

"I told you to get it done when u still had insurance" 

my gums are soar around it now. as predicted the mold from the car slowly spread to the aot they forced lease on (threat to leave me on street with nothing while police kept me from accessing any of the things I moved in to their house 8mo before lock change eviction. my mom said she was my landlord and 6.3k of I. t. services were rendered in that time. which is work I've done for pay in the past. before graduating hs I had 4 business clients in the msp subarbs and 2 dozen homes. the very first client I had was a 3person cpa office and age 16 to 26. business law says accept let alone demand a service someone is known to do professionally and they are owed market rate in absence of negotiation other wise. which if I read state staue correctly, not counting it as rent puts them into felony theft of services. I'm not a lawyer but in also not sure they gave me anything but life as a punching bag and early death if nothing in the edu even matters) 

the only general thread to the demands and punishments do or do not is what they want when they want has a common theme of be my emotional crutch or suffer. 

actually it's more of an and relation as far as logic is concerned. 

it took 10 years for me to both learn things I couldn't as a minor and under Paul and Marlene Wuethrichs helicopter to cold shoulder with nothing Inbetween. 

Marlene in particular will switch between a few things one of them being I suffer because I won't get allergy tested 

Marlene Dorothy Wuethrich (Cnnp) was the one who saw the hives when I was a child and rxed amoxicilin. by nature of her medical masters she knows that's part of the peniciln family which is essentially bread mold and the hives were an allergic reaction.

peniciln spores are similar enough to aspergilis that under microscope and with the desire to roughly type and count them.. the two get lumped togeather

roughly put she knew before she ever said it that I'm allergic to mold 

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