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coping

 more like wishing I could mourn. Instead I keep being forced to adapt to crimes committed against me but selectively unenforced. I think if people stopped and put themselves in the position where someone else had drains them and make them stick for 16 months then they found all the sudden they were locked out of everything and being bounced hotel to hotel. Without even having the notice that all my things were going to be locked in that house after that long I don't think anyone my age maybe 10% or 1% would have had fun with left even if they had had proper savings.


And if the labor I did I'm the computers I on computers I once built for them and showing them how to do what ever on demand right now... if the labor I've done professionally since 2004 if that $6,300 minimum didn't go to securing what my mom said was a position where she was my landlord then having it paid also would have been able to probably save Clyde's life maybe Bonnie's.


But this is really fucking sick Me in this empty apartment after they took everything and Clyde is in the goddamn freezer


Then they come and steal stuff they gave back. I can't even do anything meaning to acknowledge my lost let alone own coping mechanisms. With website funds I had bought Creative Suite for master collection and a Wacom drawing tablet in 2009 which didn't consume all of it either not by a long shot. I had started a painting of Clyde it was on the computer they took the computer was down in the garage because it had been in their basement running when I moved in eight months before they change the fucking lock they made sure I didn't have the funds to clean their severe mold problem that had infested it after 9 months of making sure I suffer with their fucking moldy car


I begged for the title. I said this is not a good use of my time this is not safe for me. I said doing this piecemeal is absolutely ridiculous because if you look at the EPA site they say if Building Material gets wet you have two days to dry it out or you have a problem. Which you can abstract to conclude if you can't do it and dry it all at once it's going to grow back

And if you keep doing that without the funding you just burning money I don't think I can do it if it's the only way I have to get food I need a rental car for a few days and then I can be done with it but they want to do it but they make me fucking pick money up out of the street throwing it out of a fucking fast in car with The Rock in the bag

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Nothing on this list is new. Most of it most of directly because the last 3 years of my life have been consumed by problems they created. With no bindings even to law and police refusing to allow me my property or care even when my ID is stolen.. 9mo of clean this car we made snow blow through made the landlord here unhappy it was clear I would be asked to leave end of lease from maybe 5 or 6mo in. They tried to evict the garage. Clean this car or your stuff gets donated recycled..etc I can't even wash clothes which is my fault. They steal to make fixing the dryer hard while I still don't have a glass in the cupboard but I have Clyde in the freezer and they play the let's rotate out what lie we're going to tell today game 20 days to be out of this apt (March 31 2020) still empty car broke for 6 days Marlene and Paul file domestic violence restraining orders in a family court an HR and a half from the apt they forced the lease in. 45min by freeway from their house no car