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Thursday, September 10, 2020

the sickness

 most of the issue with parents like mine is they understand boundaries crossed but only for them


healthy parenting requires allowing your teen privacy and to not pry at everything. 


this might sound off but if you hay) mve provided emotional support and stimulation, if you have met their needs as a child and adolescent then you won't have much to worry about 

media is a fuck you and a half wrench in this but another topic for later.. ie it's constant fear about dangers of not basicly cracking whip. if plays fear to encourage behavior harmful but shows it as healthy and required


but parents that are npd and esp mine don't just pry they try to destroy the thought u might be your own self

mine will literally tell me we are the same person 

my mom in 2018 tried to tell me what I told my rabbits vet and what the vet told me. 

she wasn't present for the apointment

no you didn't say that she didn't Say that. 

reality is there is no way Marlene could know that unless there was an active mic

even if she talked to the vet after it's not the certainty of being there and it would still be wrong to not say we'll I called her later... 

but no she stands there trying to tell me what reality is for events she wasnt present for.


early on in 2018 she is yelling at me telling me to do things. I point out that those are two conflicting directives 

"I know, that's the point"


this is fucking sick.


the sickest part is when police allow them to sign my name on financial docs and contracts from mail

police help them take all my stuff

police are unconcerned about subiquent theft after 0 notice lock change

this is not OK or a likely to be escaped situation.

but even worse, police then justify it by the dependence. 


with selective non enforcement of check fraud mail fraud and repeated theft

let alone attempted murder, assult and battery..

Yet my words or words allegedly said are reason to now arrest me with out warent?

this is sick.

there was theft of 6.3k of services while I lived at their house 8months in 2018. 

so hey let's also then give the people who did this everything ever John's worked for or given. 

let's then blame John for not being indepednent 

I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to hurt anymore. with someone hurting me it's bad enough 

with someone hurting me and courts plus police bending backwards to excuse things that actually harm me on every level and threaten my life

but obsessing over alleged and some actual cobdional verbal threats... 

this is basicly..  u get To shut up about it while we ensure your life exists only for suffering with out purpose.

i don't need to make waves. I don't want to attack anything. I just want what's mine 

what can be restored of that restored, compensation for what can't and my labor.

my dad says he owns me. had said it 2x. once that he bought me

when police and courts allow this I don't see the difference. 

why did I learn anything about health, work at all? 

I'm scared for my life and I can not control Paul and marlene 

if this system works at all, if law can protect, it has to be applied or overlooked equally as per one party and another disputes. 

when police help seperate someone from everything theirs

then ignore party that keeps all the property or assets then comes and steals again

takes and takes. 

while not giving enough to deal with the issues let alone replace what was mine or even provide basics

Yet police are telling me how good I have it (Hanson) 

as I asked him or stated... even if slavery was legal it would cost to keep a person alive 

I'm not being given more than a cell and its nothing I picked

what I worked for and made choices to buy based on that income.. being destroyed and or held. 


law meant to protect my ability to control my resources assets money.. what's mine. ignored yet I'm blamed for not having any control

I've built 4 fucking desks yet have a moldy table I can't sit at 

I had 3 to 4 printers... nope 

laptop on bed equaled wet laptop when water spilled. I saved it with isopropyl alcohol and the oven but battery is shot

my computer was stolen from my garage

now sitting on filthy bed move wrong and computer is blank screen cause plug pulls and no bat. 

I can't even track spending like this. I worked for a CPA office doing their it for 10 years. I have a decent idea of what I should be doing 

I also know what my risks are from being this sedentary. I'm starting to lose my close up vision partly from age partly from having spent years Infront of a screen or working on tiny things at arms legnth

so I gave up that for nothing. I knew there was risks going into the projects I took after my dad agreed to fiance

. but hey.. no fuck me right? 

fuck u. come fucking execute me or stop enforcing incest rape of life. can mgpd do that or? 


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