If you become a parent you do not need to be perfect. What you do need to do is respect that your child is not you. However your child does learn from you especially early on. If you think you have to be right all the time instead of admitting fault you're wrong. You are harming your child.
You don't have to give them anything other than food fluids an emotional support for 18 years.
And sadly because the state of Minnesota things that would rather encourage abusers and then Target their offspring lightly no one will hold you to anything. If you take out your need for control on your child in my opinion you should give them up for adoption or if you think that's going to be a problem don't have them to begin with. Even if you want to call it the gift of life you gave it to them. There is no way they could have asked for it but you gave it to them
Anything you give to them is theirs
You can take it for a grounding at points but it is theirs you need to give it back. Don't throw their stuff away don't go through their stuff if you do your job right your kids aren't going to be on drugs or have any reason for you to go through the room just like anything you give them it needs to be their e space.. if you do the emotional support and encouragement right discipline only when necessary and always explaining why you won't 99% of the time have any concern over what's in their room but it is theirs and even if there's something bad in their room you need to respect the boundaries or you're going through amplify damage unless of course it's like a pipe bomb then but your kid doesn't have that if you did your job right.
Anything given to them do not break it do not throw it away it is theirs it is not yours to take back. Anything they earn is not yours. If you violate this you need to be up front if you can meet to replace it
Get a promise or something you'd give them if you screw it up the worst thing you can do is not admit it or find fault in them to shift blame. You are the adult even afterwards even after 18. If your child is yelling profanities at you and you broken something precious to them be glad that's all they're doing and if you accept it while you say sorry that's all they'll do
You are not there God you are a flawed human. If you want them not to be you need to admit your mistakes and apologize sincerely.
I've seen a few really nasty articles but sites like psych today that start with assuming or pandering to you if you're already messed up cuz you could didn't mess themselves up whatever anybody that wants you to buy something from them tells you. But how to get your adult child on track financially cut them off. And a lot of times they say remember you don't have to hold your word. No that's the one thing you didn't do. Childhood through adulthood if you say something that you are going to do for your child you are not only doing that for them you are showing them how to do anything. You need to be as consistent as possible it's their job to start putting distance between you and if you did it right they'll come back
If you did it wrong or broke laws and sabotage call your adult offspring friends people that have contracts with workplaces whatever if you do this sort of thing in the desire to isolate them you need to fucking kill yourself. No matter what you give them whatever they have friend wi's work-wise he's what they work for and what they chose
What you need to do if you have an adult child that's dependent and you'd rather they not be. First be honest with yourself do you ever explode it because you enjoy the reaction or control? Get help if you do it is not them they did not ask to be here do not hurt them the way mine hurt me. I should not be dependent if they had not committed repeated illegal act I would not be. Emotional sabotage as well
But assuming that's not you you need to make plans decide what you're happy with it as progress ahead of time. I realize you're as bad had said something to my dad along the lines of I could solve world hunger and your point out what's wrong with me. My mom is twice as bad. I won't be around much longer for this but if you want to help your kid or adult kid hold your word if it's adult child you want not dependent anymore do you want them gone do you want them there you just need to see progress to find what that is ahead of time preferably with them and SK you ever is anyting interesting view in the work field don't yell at them don't nag. These aren't things that should be new to anybody been distorted in this nasty shitstorm of women and nobody else
But try to find a nice way to approach them see if they thought about applying anywhere and don't need him maybe get him an application or get her an application. If you know things they like ask around to see if anybody you know with a business or add a business has an opening. Studies show most people want to work Define fulfillment in it. You can easily make that something they don't want I screaming at them.
I wanted it the whole time I was bleeding for 8 months at the last apartment trying to finish the agreed work between me and the third party doing repairs trying to clean the train to go to doctors before that hit I had done so much work it's insane. Before that I was working two jobs. 3 technically cuz they still outside plants. I had deadlines they made sure if they were shattered. They made sure false hope was communicated several times false plans I lost all of the last three years with my rabbits and my cat and all of my human friends. Then I'll try to make sure I cannot accomplish a single thing. Including have anything more than this bed that Clyde died on while he's in the freezer they have Bonnie's remains I have their mold. I have no reason to be alive no mental hold is going to help that no emergency medical hold no medication is going to help that they tried to kill me literally push me over a railing kept pushing when I step back which is what put my back at the railing. She slammed the car door on me for telling her to back up after she ignores every bit of what I said to focus on the substance John your yelling you don't want to look like you need the mental ward. I don't want to look at all of you incest nasty bitch
Just like on family vacation I didn't want to show you my body in the hotel rooms. You have no boundaries either of you and you actively destroy them for me you try to punish me for trying to form them or when I do like the 10 years away from your house or8 whatever it was... you going to psychopathic I'm going to rape your mind mode will dad wants me to go get a beer with him when I'm telling him I have deadlines and I'm already delayed 8 months then he takes my keys on my birthday even though I haven't seen anybody in years at that point cuz I've been working I mean while if I say fuck you you want me to be your crutch for your sex life
Turn on 1900 Freud describe narcissistic parents where the hell is Minnesota if we're a hundred years behind