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Monday, November 23, 2020

it's gota be bad when I'm linking the huff post

 https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-narcissist-parents-psychological-warfare-parentifying_b_59124c7de4b0e070cad709df

actually it's rarely that site is totally wrong just a lot of things gendered or one sided that probably shouldnt be. the spin is over baring

what they label upside down I used to identify as backwards. ie the way emotional support flows. which may be wishful thinking because it somewhat assumes the concern is there on the part of the side receiving but that they just arnt aware how

What's absolutely psychotic but becoming the trend is ignoring all logic and reason and blaming a person/adult offspring for dependency against 

  • anything agreed on between the two parties
  • any ability to show work and or sucess was made to that end
  • known tenancy for npd parents to sabotage and the more covert and high functioning the later in the effort and harder to identify this will be
  • laws on the books or taught in college law classes. Police in my experiance give 0 fucks but will often take the side of the parent assuming what they say is verbatim. some officers are way more level headed and intelegrnt than this but the trend I observe is the department and over all actions are twoards those who arnt. 
  • financial realities and how they apply to legal realities. ie someone is signing your name on at least one check I know of but let's say financial docs and contracts opening one's mail to do so.. yet the police ask why can't you manage your finances? not wanting to hear I got a credit card at 18 and untill the mold terror started never missed a min payment 12 years of good credit poof. at this point my mom had already threatened to push me down the stairs and then falsely reported me as shoving her when a few weeks later she tries to push me over the railing. am i suposed to take with physical force what she legaly shouldn't be touching or call and have the police deny a report? damned if.. just damned
"Parentified children may feel flattered to be given adult responsibilities and honored to play the role of “special helper.” It may feel as though they are getting attention from their parent, which they can’t get any other way. But parentification is an extreme violation of boundaries, and the parentified child is being used at her own expense to meet the needs of the person whose job it is to meet hers. As they mature, parentified children are likely to struggle with healthy boundaries, fall into caretaking roles, and believe they can only “earn” love and approval by “working” for it."

I realized a while back and said along the lines of" it feels like I could solve world hunger and the same day you would be reading me a list of what I need to improve or what's wrong with me"

also during the Jan 2018 to Aug 2018 while my keys are being hidden even on my birthday while my dad who had a long list of social events and sat on my couch talking about how extravagant they were when I was working till I dropped.. now complained he's lonely because he doesn't have enough friends ( I could count social outings of the last 3 years on one hand) meanwhile my mom yells I'm delusion for their now professionally confirmed mold problem and my responce of "fuck you" is taken as her excuse to want me to empathize over her complaints about her sex life.

and as for strict boundary violations or nuking from orbit both will try to rewrite events in my life they wernt present for. like my mom insisting she knows what I said to my rabbits vet and what the vet told me. problem is she was 45min away and AFAIK has never met the vet. if she with out telling me had contacted her by phone then at best she had a recollection from memory but she didn't adress or admit to this she just insisted on her version of events in my life.

she also talks to her self and answers herself with pronouns indicating more than one person might be present upstairs and 10 min later will insist I'm delusional and need medication.

more disturbing is the police allowing them seeming impunity to law and even refusing reports heavily censoring the contents they will take.

and the fact they have legal gaurdianship/costodialship of my aunt is the extra extra epitmy of slave society.

they demonstrate some awareness they get the concepts or when Its on thm/reversed boundaries matter.

humans you terrorized and violated to/through disfunction, gota catch em all..
(I've discussed elsewhere why I'm relatively sure many of my aunts stories of theft and vandilism in her apt were actualy caused by my parents) it's also interesting that shortly after the illegal lock chance 0 notice seize my property eviction... all the sudden I'm getting yelled at because aparenrly that aunt is getting harassing calls from me. issue is 1 I don't have her number. 2 what motive would I have for that 3) even if I didn't care for my aunts health and happyness, (I do but kinda limited in ability to do more than listen to her stories at family holidays) there's the fact she has significant savings. ie I was in her will. I'd guess it was someone my mom put up to it or my cousin Mark. possibly cousin Katie's husband.

weird I don't recall that being the way the pokeymon slogan went

what's somewhat unique to unless studied is in an only possibly between two full blown npd parents. there is a golden and demon dichotomy that is usually discussed but that's hard to classic ly apply with one offspring.

both parents verbatim have told me "were the same person"

what I notice most frequently is if I'm an extension of them ( in their heads) it's a projection of what they hate most about themselves and each other.

Here's more from the huff post article

Common Idealizing Tactics

  • flattery
  • excessive attention
  • exaggerated praise
  • bragging to others
  • seduction
  • sexualization
  • projection

Common Devaluing Tactics

mn law and its enforcement or lack there of does some of this as well.. a promise with no intent to fulfill is a crime but it also describes likelyhood state enforces it 

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