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Gone

 the nudges on my leg by either large eared 4 legged hop preferring friends reminding me to take a break.

the purring of a cat named after the heavens. 

any benefit from having ever earned. 

anything on the walls except white. 

my strength

my physical appearance

my self esteem

my confidence. 

my health

any faith in this state and or nation. 

the computer i need to put a portfolio together with a resume, the computer with a legal license of adobe master collection cs 4 and other pay suits like not garbage drive cloning programs. aka the ability to earn with tools I worked to pay for. 

all the pictures since my first digital camera in 2002 are at risk.

any comfort, security or feeling of privacy. 

any ability to complete what i started 5 years ago or move on

my ability to focus my eyes close up. 

 Rorey wanna go eye for eye? cash me outside! you can beat on someone you made sure was starved and poisoned for 3 years and counting. Or catch me/ think of me when turning on your ignition.

 you know..metaphorically like you are driving away from being such a quality ....something... that even the dogs steaming coil on the neighbors front lawn is offended if the two of you share a collective nomenclature 


all coping mechanisms

nutrition, ergonomics, purpose, life plan. 

ability to organize or clean my environment. I cant even print a document. 

ability to make or answer phone calls.

reason not to commit suicide. 

reason to trust. 

concern for how any of my words make anyone feel. grow up. sticks and stones may break my bones but assault, attempted murder, theft to create starvation, false police reports, ruined background check, ruined credit, poisoning with malnutrition may fucking kill me. 

for the police that create this situation there is this fun game the kids are playing. The cool thing is it makes the world a better place and stimulates police hiring:

start with a semi auto

  • Insert full clip. hallow points are choice. if you have the means i highly recommend them 
  • Rack a round
  • Safety Off
  • Insert the end usually pointed at civilian into mouth
  • Pull trigger attempting to empty clip before you hit the floor.

Look at it this way, at very least you take one mentally ill person out of the world.

federal reports state police culture tends to view mental illness as people that are lesser. funny how police have neither a psych eval or awareness of their potential to create it. funnier yet when you consider that its known jobs like that attract ASPD and NPD

Pot to the kettle said... "I CANT BREATH", except the cop didnt leave in a body bag. 




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