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Its rarely about me

 the thing marlene and paul will do anything to avoid is

most of what i was doing I worked to afford.

it all worked. 

they took it away despite some of it paid for by others. they did so to prevent success on delivery and destroy the value of 32 years of my life.

its been like this for ever though. I realized when i was young there were some cool museums i wanted to go to. I just recalled while reading about using standard easy to source vacuum tubes as a source of xrays. 

we couldnt be bothered. yet come xmas better go with my mom to the macies thing, state fair time the same. 

anything they could send me to was a little different esp if it gave them any sort of brag or boast rights. plus it didnt involve having to feign interest in someone and something other than them.

this isnt a psych issue at this point though i might seek help at some point. thats useless when laws are repeatedly violated to endanger my life and keep me stuck in this position. 

unless you not only had to go to the street but work your way up several times with someone stealing from you stalking you and trying to kill you. then do so with abuser label despite never touch them...

you cant argue this is how it should be, equality or sane. this is lethal. if you did and made it somewhere. im sorry. you didnt deserve that. not seeing the entirety or processing what was done..that collapse of dissonance with it made me stronger now ill pass this shit on to everyone around me like scrooge is hurting us all.

the thing i did the least to almost never with my animals was discipline them. Funny thing is what i almost never experianced was being made to bleed from any of them. cosmos had his claws. rabbits can bite crazy hard. Start with the idea that living beings dont want to do more than exist and need stimulation. reward postive behavior more than you punish negaitve and along those line and it produces this

[pic of clyde in hotel room](i need to find it)
(not the pic i wanted but the night i speak of)

I fell asleep the first night i had clyde at a hotel with out intending to. he was free in the room. I woke up with him on the floor looking at me, nothing in the room had been messed up. Then when we exited with him in reusable grocery bag I figured the car would be to scary and he would just stay in the bag.
instead he wiggled out and rested his head on the center arm rest with both ears pointed at me. which when you consider rabbits are prey animals and this was maybe noon on a bright sunny day in a big car full of noises and scarry all around... or at another and pet friendly hotel (see smells of new predator every day) Clyde conked out like this:

To the extent that he rolled off the bed a few moments later. I was across the room working on a clients web server. as a society we are self destructing. we allow projection to the point where kids and animals are to blame for things we do to them (the dog that destroys the living room with out attention or while owner is gone all day and its essentially a prisoner.) 

yelling at your kids for grades is also probably the worst thing you can do (along the same lines) stress hormones produced by it dont help with formation of complex memories (like those for rote memorization)

kids have needs to survive (as all humans do)
kids have needs to develop into adults. 
Nobody needed to have a kid. 
No kid asked to be had. 
Kids usually only act out when needs arnt met. 
punishing a life that didnt ask to be for not meeting its needs... that wouldnt exist had you decided not to fuck. 

well, in this society... kill the kid after making it labor just wait till it saves your life and house and officer hanson will help. 

 but in my experience with anything living, treating it with respect generates as much compliance plus trust and obedience. this doesnt help ensure abuse violence and prison industries stay profitable though. help a cop, beat the ever living fuck out of your kids emotionally and physically for your hard day or just because... you want to support police right?

I support police with fire arms. if their arms are actually on fire. every crooked officer should have them. or you know...psych evals on hire. 

I dont know why i worked at all. police keep enabling my parents to poison assault and take everything i earned and everyone i loved. 

I once asked sargent notficer hanson "If slavery were legal are you arguing there wouldnt be a cost associatied with keeping that person alive?" 


Id apreciate if you would have the convo rather than standing be tween me and people poisoning and assulting me while censoring whats allowed on reports. 

If my life is worth less than your career path or framing me is worth more money than my life. no respect exists in my heart for you. you are a danger to me if alive. 


heres marlene and pauls living-room. the image on the tv is coming from the box bellow it. its not a cable box its a multi media center pc i built for them around 2012. features a 4ch (at once) hd cable card compatible tv tuner, blueray dvd rom drive, ssd and hdmi cec adapter so the tv remote functions like ch, vol, pause play all command functions in software on the computer helping it function as a media device rather than pc. the little red box off to the right is something I sourced for them as well. When my dad wanted the record player to work with his new surround system (second black box down from the speaker/center of tv) thats called a phono preamp. this one happens to be tube powered. Record players outputed a much weaker signal than things like vcrs, dvd players/anything you would plug into a receiver today. To adapt them to modern amps a pre amp is required. 

paul the retired seiu local 284 vp tells me he bought me and he owns me while i am poisioned by his mold and 16 years of things i worked for destroyed. his living room looks as you see above... heres where i am typing this (bellow)  

over on the right hand bar theres a link with other apts that i happened to find pics of. I think one of the first lies they told to police was i never left the home. 

regardless the danger is police acting as judge jury and executioner by enforcing personal judgement based on hearsay is not something that produces order or safety and peace. it can produce death to one citizen or citizens that open fire on crowds. it produces homelessness and abuse. poverty and destruction. 

or your dignity and honor, keeping your hands to yourself. but you frequently find projecting im a child on to me while you kill me is appropriate. 

In high school she was real adamant that I never took any metal shop or car related shop. Then when I finally get a MIG welder at age 31 he f****** steals it you f****** nasty violating molester. But you didn't just steal it he first tries to tell me that my landlord at the apartment they forced the lease under duress by threats to meet my animals on my property he's telling me that on my lease my landlord told him I'd be freaked it if I didn't f****** suck his cock like a f****** molester basically f*** you Paul die try you f****** nasty piece of s*** go f****** slit your throat

Do it slowly so u choke on your blood. Then I'll shit in your coffin. You nasty f*** how many kids did you touch on your school bus routes other than me you f****** nasty abomination

Verbatim Paul ouidick: I need control because I want control

I call him we dick because like a rapist you're getting it no matter consent enthusiasm or otherwise Paul is also verbatim said he gets what he wants when he wants

why that's not slitting his own throat for being an abomination I don't know.when someone like that has the police willing to back there every lie well it's going to be one dead body with the dead rabbit in the freezer or a pile of bodies. they've demonstrated even after the ofp they come here to keep terrorizing me I am living in filth they have stolen what I learned after leaving and everything I ever earned while working whether I was there or otherwise

Then he's trying to convince me he doesn't know what a text is while he's texting me.but he'll text commands and text me that if I don't do things she's not sure I can care for myself and meanwhile he's got the cops telling me the same thing

Like I've said in another post give me everything you ever own let me relocate you while I got all your bank info I'm going to run up your f****** credit then leave you with nothing then come keep stealing from you making sure you know I'm watching you talking to everyone you know did I can get my hands on the number and then if I'm in the position of power like the police officer here I'm going to tell you if you're not dealing with it anyway will you get to go away to that for the medical place instead of the jail place which is the same place with the different name

Same causal reason and it's me not u in that hypothetical but you're the one getting punished for it

Maple Grove Police cause brain damage. Which is funny because pretty sure in 4th grade they were telling us about how drugs do that but so do they.

Might ruin your life again which one are we talkin about? Might act irrationally oh hey..

Dare to say no to the officer live above the influence till they beat you down

Worse yet the apa knows trauma is often causal in addiction

Stress from trauma and from abusers can literally flip dormant genes on epigenetic changes

We don't even need to go there though the problem is police force that are hired people hired citizens, there's almost no absolute punishment for them in Minnesota they're rarely charged with even killing someone who hadn't been brought to trial, you fire them there's a 50% chance they get their job back and I think it was Duluth found out you can't get rid of the force entirely either. That's a hostile invasion. 
Id love to shut up about this but I'm going to be dead from it.

I like the idea of
 Righteous or altruistic good but not as much as I'd like doing something that interest me more than psychology and studying LA because anything I have can be taken at any f****** moment between being starved and beaten meanwhile some f****** quack that might as well be a talking mallard duck ignores anything's objective and as the other prong of attack from a crooked government crooked police and f***** up abusers

or what I'm saying is there's things that interest me a lot more except it's not in my interest not to make these arguments or to do the research I'm doing I could have been done with a f****** law degree had I've been allowed any of the things that law says I should be allowed the only things Minnesota theft law includes personal property not just real property but the police are all up in your face with every theft no matter what level is civil. Tell your favorite squad car but that wouldn't be civil I bet they'd be quite un civil even though it's imaginary property. I bet if you take their car you get a bullet.try entering their house and tell officer you're not there for them you're just want some of their things

I bet you still get a bullet Lucky ducks might get two.

Probably even in the back as you walk away

Best just to set a x-ray device out side the window . Must be just weak genes everybody knows cancer is genetic

to kill while being killed or just be killed? that appears to be the question. my mom has likely terrorized her sister much of her adult life. how viable is it to get away from someone who wants to hurt you has more income and the police wont enforce law they violate? 

think about it... or better yet give me all your id info ssn address bank account numbers, ima 0 u out run your credit up kick you out of your house keep all your assets. 

then follow you around. do you see how even afording the gas to get away would be a problem there? walking away isnt free. paul came to a hotel with out my knowledge and removed my drivers license from the car and photo copped it. with ssn dl number and address you can talk your way to most of the rest

it isnt something i control if they follow and terrorize. its easy with one sided law enforcement to punish me to death. it isnt to escape the death. 

it is if in absence of law applied equally or in a manner to protect life... one kills those who fallow and harm. 

recently they got into the garage let out 10lbs from the tire furthest from the cctv cam and put tape over the warning light in the cab. 

thats the level of fucked in the head im dealing with. he used to tell me about during bus driver contract negoations he snuck into the isd 281 (robbinsdale area schools) transportation directors office and spread coyote urine. i have no doubt he did this to me. several people have told me my mom used to enjoy soaping fountans. which isnt quite as psychotic but its the same lines of thought. 

either and sometimes both will taunt me and do everything they can to trigger traumatic memories, to the point where on one such ocasion i dropped the phone under the seat on speaker while yelling please stop. then stop i cant even hang up till i find the phone, just stop


eventually i have said some threatening things. but ofp law is set to punish the lotion putter after cowboy bill applies saying hes threatened that they wont put the lotion. its flawed by design and lack of standards of evidence to prevent it. it criminalizes or dues all but with an express pass speech to someone killing you instead of doing anything about police allowing the murder against the law. 

then even if it was a valid case... what does it do to police responce times? the longest it took for maple grove to respond was the time they thought it was already active. pretty pathetic. wasnt hard to time. for the last year and a half even when invited it was show up to no responce to phone sometimes even door. 10 to 15min later mgpd roll up

not sure if the p stands for privateer or predatory. mgppd? nice ring to it


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