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Friday, January 15, 2021

Preposal: Peta Approved Cost Effective Means of Manufacturing Bacon Bits

I may have stumbled upon an eco-friendly way to manufacture bacon bits.

A method that could even be PETA aproved

Supplies Required:

  • Super glue 
  • Aluminum foil
  • Muric acid
  • Corrupt cop
  • Large Cojones
  • Blender (optional for consistency)
  • Vacuum packer
  • Straps and other restraints
  • Face shield
  • Kosher salt


This method of production should be easily certified animal cruelty free.

 If one can find an agreeable rabbi it might even be kosher.

Everything required can usually be sourced from a local Walmart and the parking lot .


I forsee some issue with the consistency of the chunks produced

Getting the future food product to hold still long enough to super glue their ass shut then swallow the muric and tin foil.

Timing is off the utmost importance in sealing nose and mouth.

Regulatory Issues:

Prion diseases may be problematic.

USDA Certification may require irradiation 

Method of action:

Much like diet Coke and mentos but more like an internal works bomb

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