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Monday, February 1, 2021

Dudes gota be medium function autism

no, not sargent hanson. that would make this more like a taser than a murder.  

I instead am referring to the Walmart cart attendant once again saying BONJOURE to himself in the parking lot tonight. I've tried to instill Bonsoir even. It just doesnt stick. 

The MN Justice system ... er The MN injustice   system remains ever effective in trying to allow a parent and or itself to force the final bonne nuit though. 

I really can't describe the amount I hope he gets to live his dream of visiting fr-An-ce or that if he does he corrects that hard a so he doesn't sound like I probably did.

Also can't describe the level of hell amplification and triggers hearing him is.

I'm regret how something's transgressed with others

I had a head injury.. love seat dropped on my temple 

I know I would have said things and done things a little bit different I don't know if that were changed in the outcomes but I know I wasn't who I normally am and I'm sorry for that I also grateful for the past I just wish it hadn't gone down like that

Probably the hardest part is being forced into this limbo knowing how much people change over time and you showing up and very healthy ways because nothing about culture changes it for the better

Francesca's systemware a lot of them take on alter egos in college. Well to them University. Some of its universal in hell we're under attack but some things are unique

There's someone I wish I would have given you a hug to in 2006.

 I didn't realize what she was likely feeling until a bit later. She plays little to do with it other than she was scared and not by me.

Which is by no means any evaluation of what's my biggest mistake or anything like that but got that one sticks with me few others do tube it's probably the context now of how we avoid the trauma that furthers the cycle.

It's possible to survive it in a lot of ways but point is focusing on helping others when we can that's also incredibly difficult with all the laws are structured with all we're programmed really. Thanks for the info on the cake though

About 10 years in the future

Funny thing is I knew how much that flight was going to suck when I booked it. From my subconscious there was a bubble of premonition as my eyes closed about what would be when they opened again. But my concussed brain drift ed off.

 What I still haven't figured out is n why at all. 

Probably why I go back to a moment when someone inched twoards me

on a couch. Is how much that moment was terror for them. I kinda got it at the time but wasn't sure it would have been appropriate either.

 the more I've learned about experiences like that and  reflected on my own..the more I felt stupid. The more i realize  how crucial that moment at that age can be. 

People can survive a lot of things and remain intact. It's really not that I think I played any pivotal role either way there.  Shelooked like she was doing pretty well. Perhaps better than someone I saw  later and knew much more deeply. It's just about wishing I could have done better for someone which is also true for the later but I don't want to reopen old wounds other than to say I truly hope she's doing great right now.

I wasn't really myself for our last interactions. .

Same with my first friend there, her mother and brothers and the partner in international dam engineering that once was and plays a mean hunting horn

Delusions of mold and bugs. Somebody has delusions of ethics. Possibly a deep-seated value that he's better than others or maybe was acting on trust between himself and my mother I haven't entirely figured that but RX kickbacks were legal and there's this little tiny and gram of I'm pretty sure I saw him in mm for when I wanted to be tested for ADHD and it was my mom suggestion to see him I want save a trust that memory of that long ago and in some parts thanks to him there's a lot of scar tissue and trauma in between. And probably not going to be time to get tested for math dyslexia that's probably been the biggest issue all along. Well that and people who consume me

Delusions of mold and bugs next is not tell me I thought I saw a pussycat. But MD probably stands for Mallard duck or putain . Is ethical standards are easier to subvert than a velo of velib  gets around

I miss you guys


Clyde I'm so sorry.


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