Skip to main content

Favorite Ward Questions

If Patrick and I think his stress squeeze sponge is a cat that talks; is this folie à deux ou trois? (The madness of two or three?)

Is this place purgatory or am I loose associating again?

Are youth from Asia a rx-able cure for boredom? does it only work when they are youth in asia? If not do we Express ship them here or?

*Walk up to nurse or dr holding an orange behind your back*" I looked at orange and now I'm tasting it. Is it synastasia or do I like fruit? *Pull out orange*

At places wihere nurses do groups : is nursing group 2% or whole today? (Milk/wet)

Who should I call if I experience itching or burning on discharge? Should I open a bakery?

Do you guys think I could get a PRN consisting of an intravenous benzo, muscle relaxer and barbiturate? 

Could I get a glass of jonestown flavored juice?

*Walk away whistling the theme song to MASH*

What time is wet nursing group?

If it's a 5 point restraint where's the 5th point? Follow up question Which head does it go on?

(Turns out the 5th is actually around your chest😂)

Do you know why dark humor is like food? Not everybody gets it.

If the state were to legalize sterilization of the mentally feeble could we fix stupid?


*Reach up and pull the plastic dome off a call light*

*Walk up to a nurse* 

"Do you want a present? "

 "What's that?" 

"You're a nurse and you don't recognize a call light?"

In my experience about 2/3 will fail to recognize it. Probably because it's in their minds as a thing on the wall not something a patient hands them. Iirc memory or recall is usually context dependent and this breaks the mold lol. It's also a decent chunk of most of their jobs (recognizing and responding to call lights )

If you've fooled them.. good.

Now go put the call light dome back.

It's only funny with out making them do work at their expense and or with out property expense.

(Aka the diff between a joke and an asshole )


Do you have a prn that restores my [credit score, sense of purpose, life time expected income, reason to be alive, ability to fulfill commitments]?

If I were here for ADHD what kinda camp would this be?

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

Not Senseless 

In the medical profession they refer to it as: gallows humor. 

It's a coping mechanism.

Humor in general can be.



Popular posts from this blog

unchanged needs with Mal nutrition and poisoning still present 2020 27 10

Immediate  Tangible Asset Needs for basic security health and to end the terror going forward  this totals about $300 for things actually needed purchased most of it os things stolen and held from me  this is an expenditure to reduce money burnt and days hungey. actual new purchases to accomplish that about $400 usd mn police may think it's OK to allow someone robbed repeatedly moved under threat to 43k of assets they help a retired union leader steal and destroy but on a very practice level such as cooking a meal or managing my time this is hell. for the duration it's continued it may be lethal  I really look forward to a meal and dread it. but I'd rather not end up diabetic heart disease or dead. what I mean is 3 years isolated and abused losing all of my pets either seeing my parents who gaslight and threaten or no one. cooking and eating alone... not great but I seriously need to.  my hair and nails are falling out and apart. I'm usualy in enough physical pain I can

What Actual Peace Officers Look Like vs Many of MNs less than finest.

  Heres me traveling alone in Germany in 2006. 

My Needs 10/12

Nothing on this list is new. Most of it most of directly because the last 3 years of my life have been consumed by problems they created. With no bindings even to law and police refusing to allow me my property or care even when my ID is stolen.. 9mo of clean this car we made snow blow through made the landlord here unhappy it was clear I would be asked to leave end of lease from maybe 5 or 6mo in. They tried to evict the garage. Clean this car or your stuff gets donated recycled..etc I can't even wash clothes which is my fault. They steal to make fixing the dryer hard while I still don't have a glass in the cupboard but I have Clyde in the freezer and they play the let's rotate out what lie we're going to tell today game 20 days to be out of this apt (March 31 2020) still empty car broke for 6 days Marlene and Paul file domestic violence restraining orders in a family court an HR and a half from the apt they forced the lease in. 45min by freeway from their house no car