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The hardest part

Is knowing how much my animal friends hurt. Knowing how much time I gave up. Knowing if laws were inforced equally and or with regard to saftey and sanctity of life (here's looking at you MGPD ) that I might still have at least Clyde and or be making a middle class wage in another state right now

The hardest part is knowing how much Bonnie and Clyde suffered.

I'd take even the worst moments of my own pain over again to be able to have improved the quality of their final days. 

The hardest part is how hard Paul and Marlene worked to ensure I suffered not just these loses but continuing to deal with problems not my own or face homelessness

Now I have to hear about how people are scared I would hurt them. I never laid a finger on them. Neither paul or marlene can in good conscience make that claim about me.

Still I have no desire to harm them. 

I'm only on this topic because Im being prevented from moving on with my life by this system. 

Stuck doing reciting things I could have told you in 8th grade If not earlier. 

No actual one on one therapy.

I know I could have gone about things differently. I'd love to demonstrate that . This is currently purgatory though. It's sick. 

I'd rather die of exposure on the street...die trying to have something even if they don't leave me alone. Then be stuck here not being able to move forward.

Either way I won't and or wouldn't hurt anyone. I don't think it would come to death on the street either 

That said a lot of what I pointed out was it's hard to stay off the street when theft laws are not enforced. 

I'd still prefer to try or hobble away to another state st this point. There's nothing here for me anymore. Except reminders or really demented shit done by 2 people I once loved. Probably still do. Can't let myself close to with out mind rape and physical risk associated with their inability to admit to their part in their actions or words. 

It's like hugging porcupines .

The state of mn and or sterns county and mgpd through their actions seem to be communicating:

We will help someone repeatedly traumatized you and endanger your life, Repeately violate Fedral and state law while doing so but we're going to focus on what you said and what you say while we participate in helping them do this to you.

Will help them take everyone that loved you loved. Even hold onto their remains and threaten them to coerce labor 

What matter is what you say while someone emotionally destroys you.
I'm not proud of what I said.
I'm sorry in fact
That doesn't change the fact I used words.
Only words. I broke some sheetrock too. In a house where 50ft of basement wall and 1500 of carpet and pad were due to be ripped out.

My 2016 apt.


Dad you violate me.



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