NPD sources of info and some amature attempts at explenations.
I going to later add a page for how a family member or non bias aquaintence could probably help.
here's a great source for parent and offspring effects
thing is many bpd parents are happy burning their offspring time as one goal is the child never reaches or eclipses the parent who in his or her mind competes. stalling usually works. my expeiance. explicitly defined 2 years ago reiterated implicitly and through often illegal malicious acts today.
thing is its also somewhat obvious with 2 to 4million needed go retire (I can kiss that good by.. probably life itself soon) 18 to 35 years old is a really shitty time to have someone throwing wrenches from a trusted postion.
if only from a financial view point or outlook prediction.
I think with how image based many npd are, the precived threat of smudge on perfect image if they don't agree may be all it takes for some.
if follow through is violated or they end up where I am, very least they arnt a sole witness against 2 older adults
Maple Grove courts and police pretty much communicate through their actions and actions words and what they refuse to acknowledge well enforcing they pretty much communicate my life is meaningless because somebody told the police I never worked which has resulted in two years of unchecked assault stop set the mail check fraud attempted murder forced physical relocation under threat of being homeless with all of my stolen stuff destroyed donated or otherwise. Then my parents I've had all the time in the world in there now safe from massive mold problem that I detected house and relatively unchanged comfort in their normal routines will making me jump poop after who it had all the time to prepare the civil case I got four days notice when the car has been broken down for six days they filed in a court an hour and a half away two of the days weekend. My washer is still broke as well as predicted the apartment they picked too small to take all my stuff if I wanted to go get it with an escort is also a mold contaminated from nine months with the car that blew snow through the vents right when the forced lease started. 30 days hungry in 2019 as they hold male they create every position of power they can threaten another mental hold emergency medical hold threaten commitment what's the police abduct you on hearsay and even more so what's your report today I have recorded calls saying the TV was her trying to kill me they just false reports as weapons and I just need this to stop they also claim to own me and you hear if we put that on record we might be liable it's not illegal to say you own someone and then they continue to stand in the way of you of any of your things or even taking a report or putting anything factual on it or one item two items like the call that I posted last night. It seems Minnesota's argument is cops will never screw up no one needs to check them but if somebody goes to court and says they feel threatened cops with the power to selectively enforced pretty much have to enforce them even if they don't there's probably Financial incentive to enforce automatic criminal no warrant needed for arrest with little to no regard for the circumstances. As I have repeatedly pointed out hey several times going on several that prevent me from having any cash or the ability to get a job threats to all of my property you're standing in the way they never even gave me a notice to move out to vacate they said they were my landlord $6,300 skilled labor was performed in eight months there at minimum. Minnesota's argument seems to be for some reason we need armed police but they're not sufficient unless you run to the court for really serious thing and don't ever make a mistake nothing they can separate you from or the court would cause threat to life but threat to life is described by someone claiming they feel threatened and therefore automatic Criminal I don't have the time or health left to do this the last thing I want to do is see them again they will not leave me alone and why should I start from zero after 3 years of being run into the ground for decisions they made crimes they committed but decisions they made about finishing their house when I was 14 in 2001 ish. The ish should probably be on the 14 I'm not doing the math right now. This is insane. What ration is left out of you have a rational adult after that someone can say they own me take everything from me and the police will arrest me because that person just lie so much I don't understand. Not eating or clothing myself according to documents circulated by hospitals about Minnesota Medical holds is grounds for a medical hold except if police ignore someone else without legal custodial ship hijacking all your fucking finances LG are we just looking to let hospitals lock people away for 3 to 5 days then putting up websites about protecting citizens rights cuz this does not seem congruent. Feel like I'm in the scariest horror movie that was ever made maybe even more so by the fact that all they have to do is now claim that I think the system is out to get me cuz I don't I think the system is out to see people making money in positions that might hurt people making money or organizations making money I think the state has incentives to create jobs that way or maintain them I think when it comes to a human right so end up switching when I get to judicial and enforcement Powers 2 Chainz the doctors that can literally get a third party Mercy bonus a big Pharma bonus for drugging their president. There's no one to reliably call if someone can separate you from everything and put you on the street at a moment's notice and with the fact that there was no judge involved all the like a year-and-a-half counting maybe to now before the restraining order they were going off here say. It's like there's absolutely no acknowledgement that one would need any thing for stability or to even stay alive the only threat to life is someone claiming they felt threatened seems like your system designed to hurt me and make others profit or mistake I don't want to be talking about this I don't want to be a part of this I wanted to go on and have something to feels good about in my life make adult friends or keep the ones that I have because they offered me a leg up for work I proved I could do then the police separated me from their property entrusted to me my property of 16 years worked for and all the bility to complete the contract at work
sometimes i look back at stuff i posted earlier... smh...
im going to clean this up and post more sources when i can. if i had half decent nutrition or the ability to jump on my bike/wash clothes...etc this wouldnt be such a flaming wreck. im virtually homeless with clyde in the freezer and living in filth. soooo cognition isnt really where it should be. with out further delay though:
Harry Potter Comparison to being child of a narasstic parent
this person has a rather binary take on it.. don't forget with splitting, assuming it always an indicator is splitting :} it's also normalized by news and increasingly edu so it's a pretty understandable trap and mindset to fall into. especially for those where it's used as a tactic or justification for abuse. I think part of critical thought must be entered or gleanemed from external sources and or if the environment around u even finds it useless let alone beats u for it.... let it atrophy to binary tends to happen
but the harry potter part cought my eye. and does a good job illuding to something I see as well, the abuse and results are normalized in culture. I wouldnt call it great but its interesting :
A first-hand account of npd parents and some tips
Brain Damage From NPD
This I haven't read yet but seems interesting:
Brain Damage/Differences In those with NPD
A Note On Conflict (imho)
When Personality Disorders enter the scene it might still be two to tango but pretty one-sided . Cluster B dramatic disorders and esp NPD ASPD BPD I have both witnessed (in professionally diagnosed individuals ive met over the years and my parents) ... to put it bluntly, the two tangoing are in their head. its them and another them they call you.
there are probably 3 types of conflict you will encounter as the child of an npd parent:
Cyclic
some npd people go hot-cold build up tear down and maybe cold shoulder in between. lets you forget about it, then they come back acting best buddy but will soon be back to kicking the shit out of you. I should have seen this coming. a while of cold shoulder into my first move to st cloud mn, i got a text from my dad "John every year I thank you for..."(getting him an ambulance in 04)... which struck me as odd, cause... no... he doesnt. not that i expect it either, but stoping the killing me would be nice as a favor. stop using me like property for amusement of watching someone suffer.
ofp restraing orders where someone can "feel threatened" and strip you of your rights... play right into the hands of abusers.
End Of Meal (independence/achievement threatens feed)
if you are the child of a npd parent(s) and have siblings.. you probably have your own terms but does something like devil/wild/terror child and golden child fit? see splitting below. As far as I can see its about "look what I...er... they can do" or "look what they did to me" at least in public. aka its about using you as feed. at home theres probably elements of control, emotional incest/using one or both or all for emotional support and arbitrarily having someone to terrorize or command. as them and they love you though right? or "I WOULD NEVER INTEND TO HURT YOU" "NO ONE HERE EVER SAID A SINGLE BAD THING ABOUT YOU"
point i wanted to make with feed... most likely time a child or adult child of an npd parent or parents sees terror/conflict is as independence nears. their source of feed and someone to have power over might end up gone. Angel and Wild child I would bet are equally likely to end up at worst outright sabotaged, at best you could hope they aren't that bad and just don't congratulate you.
Far more likely you get some degree of emotional or family emergency as you independence through hard work of whatever nature/path has crucial deadlines approach.
Ego Slight or Perceived (narcissistic rage)
this could cover physical as well aka small mistake or temper issue, maybe big but npd doesnt exactly lend to tempered tempers even if they dont show it. Ie they probably could kill you for a potato chip if you happen to rub them the wrong way. this is often referred to as a narcissistic rage episode.
careful with the covert type. I have a somewhat shity situation as only... 2 on one gaslighting no harm ever while they harm after they harm and its hard to hold onto what what some times. no one wants to see one let alone both parents as monsters... they are and if i could afford a tattoo ... i need one. point is if they have you convinced they aren't doing anything, the brighter of the manipulators may act like they are the salvation not the problem.
ive watched mine even demand (once cops put them in power over 16 years of things i worked for 0 notice lock change 8mo after moving in) that if i dont want to be in an empty apt i ask if 16 an hr ok for person i kinda knew/lose friend/no longer associate to help move in. I said yeah why wouldnt it be (16 an hr is way above min wage) so of course he has no intent but i ask anyway. long periods of no contact allowed or answer but run in circles or sit silent as a tactic then my dad wants to pay the dude 14 an hr still wont give money up front meanwhile clyde rabbit is sick moldy car...
point is watch out, another thing they are known to do is social sabotage, triangualtion and social poisioning/smearing. the brighter of predatory parents does combo moves.
the loser of the justice systems...or injustice might allow them to strip your 2nd amendment and need for warrant to arrest off words they claim you said... so pray ye not in Minnesota, but its a shit situation in general
mainly because everyone is likely to have had some degree of n traits in their parents. thats way different than an npd parent or npd parents. but modern society more corodes and or nukes empathy and "put yourself in the other persons shoes" might as well be martian french. or worse, im pretty sure ive see it happen where in an order not to re think the what ifs in someone else's fucked past (that simply standing up for the victim would help) they might justify watching you killed by "I had it rough you should to" or "its your fault for depending on your parents"
when, in my case mail fraud, check fraud theft... what they are arguing is someone should be able to take everything of yours, repeatedly, including that needed to have a job, get food stamps, tools to earn or able to sell for cash (hell even rent with a tile epoxied on and a android app) ...
people for what ever reason dont see the disconnect or even danger to them by allowing this to happen. police likely do what ever is easiest regardless of what they say. the party on the street poses little threat in court, try making it.
what people (imho) miss is, the police aren't supposed to be judge hurry and executioner, and operate on hearsay plus can selectively non enforce anything...
we desperately need better frameworks for liability not a push (like mn has codified ) where "parents aren't responsible for the welfare of their adult children"
which police can interpret as, nothing they did matters or harmed you, they aren't responsible for you. yet they aren't going to say the same if somehow you could take their house, car bank accounts...everything and say, SURPRISE IM YOUR FATHER!
or more simply put IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. If you can commit crimes that leave someone unable to feed themselves via theft of physical ID , illegal 0 notice lock out, keeping all their assets and threatening them to force relocation, repeatedly steal things like id while demanding labor on your things or all theirs destroyed..
or lets just put it like this, commit crimes that prevent someone from seeking outside employment or gov food assistance, while opening their mail and playing with their accounts (also law violations)
doesn't matter if you want to say they arent responsible for welfare of adult children, that would harm anyone welfare. but then again define welfare. I bet the state will tell you thats not what you think it means if your argument posese problems for them. maybe not though maybe we have dumbed people down to the point they cant see this anymore. i have no doubt some still can. it terrified me.
cause yeah regardless of parents if police can overlook theft of id and whatever you had on you back moving to a new town in the us... you are boned. if you can report who took it and the police will stand in between the way of u and having it back...
we have issues when the state also claims to protect the human rights of its citizens and police can enforce to create a threat to life but civil court takes alleged words as a reason to strip rights from a potential victim.
Psychology Today & Psychology Central (websites, again imho)
likely propaganda for abuse and divorce industry. if you note the authors credentials they are often family court lawyers. Some of the posters/authors are better than others. someday i may try to eliminate them as a source on anything on this site.
Infantilize
- Disapproval.
This can take the form of looks that silently tell you you have failed in their eyes or it can be pointed questions regarding your lifestyle choices or other decisions you have made. Almost any decision you have made without consulting them first will be met with disapproval. They do this to try to get you into the habit of running everything past them first, thus reinforcing their belief that you are incapable of making your own decisions. - Interference.
Many narcissistic parents believe they have the right to interfere in their adult children’s private lives. This can take the form of telling you who you should date — or that you’re not allowed to date. At the extreme end of the spectrum, narcissistic parents have been known to deliberately sabotage their adult child’s relationships. (bahah thats not really the extreme end, its about 3 quarters of the way back from where i am) - Excessive criticism.
Excessive criticism is designed to destroy your self-confidence. Many narcissistic mothers do this to their daughters under the guise of ‘being helpful.’ Hurtful comments regarding your weight, clothing, choice of career, choice of partner or your ability to be a good parent to your own children are all ripe subjects for the narcissist mother to show that she knows what’s best for you, implying that you don’t.
Marlene And Paul Wuethrich have demonstrated a hybrid technique, they will often gaslight thing I did, claiming I did not because I could not. Even when i clearly had. They will shatter boundaries to do it as well.
this may sound bizarre or non sensical but its designed to break someone down. example:
"you dont know how to change a tire so you've been stuck at the apt for two weeks"
I had changed the flat for the spare the day it went flat.
"you need to go to the doctor", "you wont go to the doctor" .
if i tell them to go to the doctor "NONE OF YOUR BIZ", My dad drove me to 4 doctors then forced the mn emergency medical hold and i had been to two more, possibly even more. The only way they could know over the last year is if marlene wuethrich is pulling my med files at work... or actually when mn care renewal came to their house (this apt was trying to evict for mold car cleaning here but i was asking for the packet to be forwarded 2 mo b4 and 2mo after)... they sent me the healthcare cards. in otherwords once again opened my mail forged my sig. probably added themselves to make control decisions on the account. They have a copy of my DL and my SSN now thanks to mns misguided ofps while they still sit on all my property and im about to get evicted... they get to know what homeless shelter i die at.
Depending on your terror these phrases from psych central may or may not be worth a damn.
- Disapproval.
This can take the form of looks that silently tell you you have failed in their eyes or it can be pointed questions regarding your lifestyle choices or other decisions you have made. Almost any decision you have made without consulting them first will be met with disapproval. They do this to try to get you into the habit of running everything past them first, thus reinforcing their belief that you are incapable of making your own decisions. - Interference.
Many narcissistic parents believe they have the right to interfere in their adult children’s private lives. This can take the form of telling you who you should date — or that you’re not allowed to date. At the extreme end of the spectrum, narcissistic parents have been known to deliberately sabotage their adult child’s relationships. (bahah thats not really the extreme end, its about 3 quarters of the way back from where i am) - Excessive criticism.
Excessive criticism is designed to destroy your self-confidence. Many narcissistic mothers do this to their daughters under the guise of ‘being helpful.’ Hurtful comments regarding your weight, clothing, choice of career, choice of partner or your ability to be a good parent to your own children are all ripe subjects for the narcissist mother to show that she knows what’s best for you, implying that you don’t.
Marlene And Paul Wuethrich have demonstrated a hybrid technique, they will often gaslight thing I did, claiming I did not because I could not. Even when i clearly had. They will shatter boundaries to do it as well.
this may sound bizarre or non sensical but its designed to break someone down. example:
"you dont know how to change a tire so you've been stuck at the apt for two weeks"
I had changed the flat for the spare the day it went flat.
"you need to go to the doctor", "you wont go to the doctor" .
Have a few handy phrases ready.
Memorize four or five phrases you can use for any given situation. When your narcissistic mother starts telling you that’s not how she would do it, simply say in a respectful, but firm tone: “You have your way of doing things, and I have mine. And neither of us is wrong.”
Other phrases could include:
- “Thanks, but I can manage.”
- “That may be your opinion, but I don’t have to agree with it.”
- “That’s my decision and I’m not prepared to discuss it with you.”
By closing the conversation down, you deny the narcissist the chance to gain control of the situation.
Memorize four or five phrases you can use for any given situation. When your narcissistic mother starts telling you that’s not how she would do it, simply say in a respectful, but firm tone: “You have your way of doing things, and I have mine. And neither of us is wrong.”
Other phrases could include:
- “Thanks, but I can manage.”
- “That may be your opinion, but I don’t have to agree with it.”
- “That’s my decision and I’m not prepared to discuss it with you.”
By closing the conversation down, you deny the narcissist the chance to gain control of the situation.
Walk away.
If all else fails, leave the room. There is no point in arguing with a narcissist. They will never see your point of view and will always insist on being right. However, if the situation has become so toxic that your mental and physical health is suffering because of it, you may want to ask yourself if it’s worth having them in your life.
Grooming
If all else fails, leave the room. There is no point in arguing with a narcissist. They will never see your point of view and will always insist on being right. However, if the situation has become so toxic that your mental and physical health is suffering because of it, you may want to ask yourself if it’s worth having them in your life.
Grooming
I haven't seen it as a term widely applied to npd targets outside of this link(page says its uses by...)
that said, sources that list an author with PhD in relent fields will describe how npd parents sabotage both steps to independence and interpersonal relations often into adulthood. which when u think it through functionally fits grooming esp in sever cases. big diff perhaps more serious.. children pretty much app to trust their parents and tend to normalize what ever homelife is. aka half the work of gooming is inbuilt.
the funniest thing (in the food when paul wuethrich claims to own you sense (not everyone gets it)) was the alterboy scandle or rather a joke I once heard a out them having eextreamly well parted hair.. grooming almost recursively defined
normalizing
this might be intuitive but when considering the above about what u grow up with is normal I realized gaslighting from a postion of power accomplishes this as well. a more practical way to ikistrate it from a targets perspective is when u hear, it's not abuse, we didn't do anything to cause what happens to you or its stuff you do to yourself to the point it becomes internalized that things they did to you to harm are actually part of how flawed you are and or the world works I would speculate that at the point it becomes normalize to the individual that they might are meant to be abused and that's not even abuse its just how it is because that's who they are and other meant to be well abuse is still happening and you I likely have a healthy habit have it systematically destroyed I figure this is where self-sabotage becomes Norm as well
https://outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015/11/4/grooming
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