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Qualifications and Disabilities

this page is partly about what ive learned about myself and psych but also intends to address issues with mn law. its current definitions enable abusers to gain power over their victims and if these happen to be parents and adult children at least in my experience with maple grove pd (and tales from a friend) the police departments and courts will enable life threatening actions by the parents and actions out side of the rights mentioned in the constitution. 

all while standing behind things like "parents aren't responsible for the welfare of their adult children" when in reality police have enabled someone who moved back in to be robbed of 16 years of possessions earned by employment then forced physical relocation and labor based on threats to all that property. while police force leaving public property on no legal grounds. 

It still needs some work/far from complete. 

My history of covert abuse and disability masked by it. Also relevant bits about why I think i know anything at all in medicinee or psych: 

applied here (med, psych, health): i have no degree. I have no degree at all actually. Calc was a hangup even though i understood it. I also had an internship in college where one of my bosses was my student advisor. I got the internship by impressing him in an elective class with work i had done for pay on my own. This helped get further towards a degree because he was able to sign off /override prerequisite on courses, but if i want one Ill have to re address math at some point. thing is its not that i dont understand or cant use derivatives or integrals. its applying every rule without being able to check my work with even a basic calculator, pendas order applied, anxiety rule flip and working memory limits. 

im more likely to be dead in a few months than either finish my own path to middle class or try my hand at math again. 

 I figured out at 24 i likely have math Dyscalculia and or normal dyslexia. First grade I had to miss recess once a week to meet with a para and I still remember the big yellow hand-operated analog clock. the other thing we worked on is tieing shoes. I think the issue with knots wether psych knows this or not(im not sure) is directly related to the working memory and 3d spacial/self-orientation issues. because a Knott is an algorithm or sequence of left-hand right-hand steps.

i did a google image search just now.. im pretty sure this was it. I remember the blue lettering and the half circle top square bottom. Isd 279 was renting winnetka elementary from isd 281 while I was in kindergarten and 1st grade. I was aware of that even in elementary school but only because i knew it was part of my dads district. aka my dad was a school bus driver for isd281 and the garages union steward. as well as seiu local 284s elected VP for a long as i can remember. Which i can logically validate im not making it up/false memory or recreated incorrectly because at first every 2 years was the seiu international convention then later every 4. we always made that into a family vacation as the seiu offered a pay a little more bring your family program. usually members of the local would go multiple to a hotel room, part due to capacity part due to cost. Point is as just the steward and not vp he wouldnt have been attending those let alone us as a family vacation. 

Teaching myself logic was a coping mechanism/adaptation for my disabilities, shortcomings and flaws. 

whats odd is the only memory i have of first grade is playing with poggs outside and that para when i couldn't. 2nd I know is when Rushcreek elementary opened in maple grove. I had miss Ryther. this is also when we realized I couldn't see the board if i recall correct/when I got glasses. My curiosity and life long quest for why things are the way they are was becoming evident as well. yet 24-30 students to one teacher and myself lacking the lexicon to adequately formulate the question of who letters have orders in words and or (in retrospect) trying to grasp the concept phoneme plus not understanding the manners. lead to an event where i got chewed out pretty hard for simply asking "why" im sure i came off as a brat. im also sure that wasnt what i was up to. Im sure Ms Ryther is actually a pretty quality person. This event escalated to my parent's meeting with rush creeks principle. The reason im sure of Ms Rythers character is maybe 5th or 6th grade I passed her in the hall(years later). she stopped me and apologized for what happened years earlier. That wasnt something she otherwise had to do or would have been expected/there was certainly no external pressure then if there ever was. Despite how short of an event/small of a gesture that was, it was a demonstration of character that i remember today and probably helped in me defining character at all/shaping my beliefs to this day. To error is human. how we deal with it (i think) says a lot about our character. I dont see much merit in anything someone is obligated to do is used as part of the evaluation of their character.

shes also the reason i know a few words in Spanish she had a friend that would come in and teach the class Espanol like once a month. I can date this for you very simply because of something on the news then and my ability to cross-connect/meta-analyze. ford just brought back a vehicle we haven't seen for a while. at the time the news was all about what i had just learned was a blanco bronco and something about small gloves big hands.

rumor has it this was followed by and artificial insemination in a family and ford motors. with a dream team doc Dr saying never quit just because the glove doesn't fit and many screams later the Kardashian fame and ford escape was born.  (satire rooted in truth)

in the context of npd though the child is an extension of the parents so attacking me was attacking them hence they big time escalated it.  As far as maple grove police are concerned this may be worth remembering as well. I've said in other posts this site, my other site and Facebook, the guy who made lampshades out of people's skin used to get rides home from the police after kills. OJ Simpson was also known to have an extremely friendly relation with local PD

3rd grade i was in the "slow class" i eventually learned division by a finger trick Mrs Wennon taught

I was starting to experience this disconnect that pta mom wrote off as im lazy. note N parents usually present as supper parents. pta fits this perfectly. She will adamantly deny ever helicoptering but reality is until 7th grade and a lot of time after she would schedule work so she was always home when i got off the bus. which meant going to a friend after school or even going outside always asked mom first.

the disconnect was peers would say things like "you use really big words" or "youre really smart i bet you get all As" ...  but i was in actuality in the slow class and struggling to get Cs 

while it might not seem like much, scheduling it so she was always home made it a bit of a prison. she didnt actually want to see me at times it was go find something to do dont bug me. But if i wanted to go out side or to a friends... nope not unless your homework is done. If i wanted a snack when i got home it was sometimes denyed sometimes a lot of negative feedback. "spoil your dinner".

it seems maybe normal or caring except its dysfunctional beyond belief. 

 what it generalized to is interrupting me even identifying needs like hunger or being able to do things like run around for a while then come back and try an assignment. sometime before 5th grade i stayed like 20 min late at a house at the end of the culdesac one night, found the door to our house locked lights off wouldn't answer the doorbell. ended up bawling at the friends house terrified. then they made a huge deal about coming and getting me and what happens when you disobey. 

before the end of 6th grade i remember there was a time in one of my classes that the teacher said it was structured free time. aka pick one of a list of things to do and do that. I asked "can i use this time to just put my head down and organize my thoughts" decade later while reading about emotional child abuse (in a paper meant for educators) ... that exact phase. 

every math teacher at every parent-teacher conference, starting in jr high said something along the lines of "i dont get it , it seems like he has a mathematic brain and he gets it in class, but then he tests poorly"

in jr high i set out to get my ham radio license and it took 3 or 4 tests until i passed. Had i not done this I might not have graduated high school. the last attempt when i passed what had changed is i realized if i put blank note cards above and below the line i was trying to read, it stopped jumping around and i could read for detail. Eventually, i could read with one or none. I very much taught myself how to overcome these issues which as far as i can see point back at dyslexia and or math dyslexia. 

when i passed the test the very night my mom at the dinner table "what? now you expect us to buy you an expensive radio?" may 22nd 2020 as mgpd ignored id theft and activated the ofps sterns wouldnt serve... I was pointing out, they still have even my ham radios, one of them alone is worth 1k alone and they are being destroyed. I had read a year before that the mn line for criminal property damage is 1k. that particular radio was given to me by W0BSI or rather the Lonsky side of the family on Johns passing (my great uncle). Its also worth noting that its federally illegal to own one with out a ham license, and state laws prohibit driving with anything that can pick up police radio without a ham license or other commercial license (like commercial radio repair techs would have). often referred to as scanner law. or applied here, if its not mine, then unless a ham drove it to their house then it was technically illegal for them to acquire it or drive it there themselves and federally illegal to own it with out a license. im KC0JSF. despite this and while activating the ofps "its probably a civil mater we couldn't prove ownership anyway" . jan 2018 i had moved back in. turned out the reason was mold from their basement that spread when cosmos cat got sick. 8mo bleeding in apt... aug 2018, i leave for 2 weeks max at a hotel, they lock me out 0 notice. all my valuables have been in their control ever since, police in maple grove insisting i have to leave the public street out side their house repeatedly. 

it took me a long time to realize that though i respected what they did and was interested in it, they have none of that in return for me. you might not realize that if you know them and they have talked about me. externally the child of a N parent(s) are either a source of "look what i can do...er they...er look what i made and what he/she can do" or "look what they are doing to me" . the devil angle dichotomy but what it really is about is n feed. aka attention earned via a child, they view as an extension of themselves. 

My mom also taught at st kates. in elementary she would bring home this dummy they used to teach intubation. I figured out how to do that (not that i would then or now ever try or want to on a person). Then as the calendar rolled towards y2k the overhead projector was going the way of the dodo. Guess who ended up converting her curriculum to powerpoints? yeah.. yours truly. in line with the title of "qualifications" no i dont think i have even the equivalent of a degree. I do know more of the vocab concepts and inner workings of the medical world than most not involved in it though. 

A moment more on her usually being home when i got home from school. This didnt go away, i more started immersing myself in afterschool activities. All of them offered more freedom and less negative prickly tear downs than being at home. In hs they actually started limiting my involvement. The people involved didnt tell me at the time. I understand the reason now and why it was done. They knew i was working IT support and a normal for my age job, they were trying to keep me from burn out. I had also got into ALP sr year. it was AP English and AP Socialstudies/history combined into one class, this allowed me to keep band take the A+ cert class (which i ended up teaching) and have all the requirements for grad. 

why was a highschooler teaching a hs class? mgsh had a teacher they had hired as biz/tech. She had way more of a biz background though. the class was only like a school year old at the time and another student had helped the first. (i forget exactly and if they were on tri or semesters. though i know the part about another student was the case) . I was also part of the schools tech foundations (home room) where 3 out of 1500 students did IT work for the school and were entrusted with a lot of admin passwords on the domain and local admin passes. Because of that and the staff that ran it having a pretty close relation with the students on the team, they were also aware I was doing IT consulting for small biz and homes already... it all played out in a way where every other chapter /class period i was presenting. My assignment and grade was did i come ready to present the material. I was all in and at one point even designed a batch virus as an assignment to try to take it off. it was rather simple but a bit devious because it wrote itself in several places (registry and start up folder) and rewrote itself to both before it did anything else...aka find it in one take it off, it will be back there and still the place you missed on reboot. My friend Max who now works at a large tech most people interact with daily came the closest to getting it off if i recall correctly. 

when it came time to leave for college. I had wanted to stay around the area if not there for a year the reasons were 

 One i had an 11 an hr plus commission telemarketing job. This was a mortgage refinance company and commission was dependent on a quota and the loans clearing, but when those things came together the pay over hourly was small percentage on the profit the company expected to make.. which made those very substantial checks. I also had a cpa office, print and engraving shop, law office and car dealership plus two dozen home IT consulting/computer support clients. Right after i turned 16 a card i had put up in a coffee shop resulted in a call from the owner of a 3 person cpa firm. so soon after I only had my permit. I was sure I would only go once because my mom had to drop me off. Instead, i had that client for 10 years. all of the above lasted well past hs grad but how regular they could be was limited by me ending up in North Dakota. so Income was one reason. aka something that would have given me the financial power to choose otherwise. It had already but hs students can only work so much with the load they otherwise have. 

Finding my dad close to death in 2004 and all kinds of act dont think until I was sitting alone in north memorials waiting room had left me with some things to deal with. really all of the above was under the surface but I mention this because I had identified my need to seek psychological services and done just that. 

instead what happened is my dad told me that if i don't leave for ndsu right away the money they had saved to enable me going to college would probably disappear. 

my dad had an aortic aneurysm and my mom didnt make norths waiting room for 3 hrs. shes a technophobe and in 2004 didnt have a cellphone. I had left a note given an asprin, thrown Cosmos cat into the master bedroom or basement (basic aid training at mg community center, i sorta knew what to expect after a medical call to 911/ stretcher/open door/cat friend likes outside...) . I was let off work 3hrs early due to lack of customers and almost went downstairs on arriving home. foot on the 1st step down I noticed a cordless phone antenna pointed at the tv over my dads shoulder (as if he was trying to change the channel with the cordless phone as a remote) From the ambulance I called my friends dad and asked if he could wait at the house. I figured this wasnt the sort of thing you would want to read in a note. it would be 3 hrs until my mom entered the waiting room at north memorial hospital. I can still vividly see the eyes of the nurse in the ER who couldnt tell me anything but tried to reassure me the best she could (with in HIPAA regs and knowing how bad it was) blue eyes with white around the iris.  

when I wanted to see a psych afterwords both parents got incredibly resistant. along the lines of "why do you think you are so screwed up", "do you think we screwed you up"... when at the time it was nothing to do with them (that i was aware of) 

the medical incident and the surgery in tx the next year also greatly furthered my medical knowledge. I depersonalize and intellectualize as an escape and coping mechanism. 

at college I also took a intro to psych course. very intelegent British prof who used to joke about how back home they drive on the right side of the road. This alone is practically nothing but what it kicked off was a lot of self-lead study on the topic. aided by 18 years of hearing about medical journals at the dinner table. I was diagnosed with ADD in college and saw a psychologist monthly. 

in my self-lead study, I eventually came across two notable individuals named Fred Trist and Eric Emery. CS helped grasp this, formal edu introducing big concepts like set theory. helped to be able to grasp at least the concepts behind things like OST and Organizational theory. At one point I had a well traveled middle age Dr of Slavic descent (ussr satellite but i forget which she was from). I had also come across "the causal fabric of organizational environments" and some of the corresponding meta analysis by legit and less than sources. Theres a whole load of off base claims made about all that. My conclusion is they did predict that the line we are taking is not a good one but they weren't writing a blueprint to world domination so much as a use case analysis for past inputs that chanced society then analyzing those and others theorized and outcomes.  I trusted the doc I just mentioned enough to ask her if she was aware of that paper and the org behind it. she nodded and got almost a devious smile. I had also asked what she thought of the conclusions. 

"its going to get a lot worse and relatively quick". we never mentioned it again. 

Why this is More than a psych issue: 

this was titled qualifications. the last thing i want to say along those lines is you shouldn't need them to figure yourself out. Seeing someone qualified is great. Ive done it when i needed it. Being expected to or forced to see someone by a court while court and police step on constitutional rights and allow a party to rob you blind, open your mail, sign your name (with out legal costodialship)...while local pd allowing them to steal and destroy all your property wont let you file reports that previous reports were lies stating "if we put that on record we might be liable"... this is a system that is bound to hurt us all.

its known in the psych community that many people in modern society are coming to view themselves by their diagnosis. this should be appalling. Where its really dangerous is states like Minnesota, California and (texas that i know of) have granted powers usually reserved to police and or judges to doctors. Like the ability to detain citizens. In my case with the medical hold im pretty sure none of it was legal. it doesnt match any of the described medical holds in how it was executed. I called the state bar hotline and was told no one wants to touch these cases. 

the problem with docs granted these powers is historicly legal decisions have apeals processes, at least a tiny bit of liability for those executing/enforcing and defined standards of evidence and burdens of proof. As far as i can tell the dam wasnt written as a guide for legal decisions and or justly detaining people. theres no actual mention of what hard evidence is. So forced detainment as i found out can mean separation from documents that are hard evidence the claims made by citizens and acted on as hearsay are false. I told the doc "i have docs of the extermination and email with the mold pro on my phone"only to hear 

"patients aren't allowed phones on the ward" .... "(redacted by me) for delusions of mold and bugs"

this system is terrible. not only is there no one normally responsible for detaining citizens looking in on it/providing oversight/checks and state bar saying theres no balances... med corps are for profit private industry. Orwellianly biz ethics teaches their ethical actions are only to profit. aka they aren't taking you in just for the good of anyone. likely there is a per head per night monetary transfer state to hospital or insurance to.. but worse than that the legislation doesnt address rx kickbacks. Aka its known and perfectly legal for drs to profit by the drug companies paying them for prescriptions written. 

aka the private or otherwise org detaining you stand to financially benefit and the Dr in power over you may stand to financially benefit above his/her normal pay by finding something wrong with you. theres no requirements to allow you to present evidence otherwise, yet you cant leave or rather if you manage to it quickly becomes a police and legal matter. 

abstracted ... all the incentive to hurt people is there, none of the things that usually prevent that seem to be present or thought through. 

in publications by the state and lawyers in the state ive found the phrase "parents are not responsible for the well being of their adult children" several times in almost every context. 

police in maple grove are ignoring that for over 16 years i had my own income and i haven't lived at my parents house since 2006 except briefly in 2014. I moved back in jan 2018. this put my parents in possession of almost everything ever mine. 

systems i developed living on my own to maintain my function and or generate income, protect health, cope with emotional stress, mainly dependent on phsycal things... assets. 

aug 2018 6mo after moving back in my parents changed the lock code with 0 notice. enforced almost  0 access to my property since.

stoping here everything below is really rough.. need to find food. 

2 times i had about 15 min. I had contracted work

The issue is when the police are willing to assist the parents from taking everything from an adult child threatening it and extorting labor and physical relocation... the police at best still give parents the benefit of the doubt reporting on their adult children yet in my experience refuse to make it go both ways. Its hard to argue that assets purchased or owned dont contribute to any persons well being. for a year ive been in an empty apt with out even a kitchen hearing clean our moldy car and or clean it faster. 

I cant rule out the possibility of union brotherhood creating some of what I experience as maplegrove pd bending over backwards to aid in robbing me blind and leaving me homeless. Though its also possibly a result of only a combination of doing whats easist for the department and or most likely to cover their asses for mistakes made early on (like the emergency medical hold that probably wasnt inline with even the extremely lose language in that legislation)...after all, how likely is someone homeless, robbed of 16 years of assets and on the street ...how likely to wage a court battle? oh lets add ofps 20 days before lease he was forced into is up. (parents changed locks 6mo after i moved back in 2018 0 notice took everything of mine) police start telling me i just dont live there anymore cant file theft because I gave them my things moving out, ignoring mail fraud and check fraud, general forgery of my signature on contracts in mail or otherwise. just showing up sitting on public property mgpd shows up tells me i have to leave. in a car not mine while 20 grand of tools i worked for is being destroyed since Aug 2018. march 2020 with 20 days left to find new apt... march 13th served with ofps filed on the 11th. car broke down march 6th. filed in Hennepin, lease they forced is in sterns...so hr and a half away while car is broke 20 days to move out. mgpd still enforcing im in empty apt 9mo of labor on their moldy car... unde threat to get rid of all my things. starts walking lines of human trafficking as well. covid is why im not on the street 4mo up (notice to vaycate truncated by covid eviction ban). They drove to st cloud and stole my id after the ofp hearings I couldn't attend and then using garage remote took my mig welder, compound miter saw and workstation PC from garage. called in welfare checks. scpd realized what was up second time. sterns refused to attempt to serve the ofps so may 22 im broke and still in terror but drive to maple grove and mgpd even ignores the id theft just to serve the ofps. aka youre going to get an eviction and two dv restraining orders, all your stuff taken by parents with year plus of state/county/pd assisting you being parted. when i went to mgpd 9 mo before and reported i have calls recorded showing parents use police reports falsified as terror and the dv report was too.. I also mentioned bar ssociation said " report unreliable witness" , "if we put that on record we might be liable" I had 0 indications of violence or criminal record when this started. the behavior is confounding and terrifying. 

dislexic-grouping(dont forget)

Im likely the product of two sociopaths or full-blown but covert narcissists. in dsm speak thats aspd and or npd. many people online use a non professionaly coined term along the lines of socieonarcopaths. as far as i can see this might be correct. if you allow yourself to drop the prestige of a PhD (if you have one as a reader) and if my memory serves me correctly: many of the traits of cluster b disorders cross present and or its not unheard of to have more than one label in that catogory. to my uneducated ass that says we had our analitical lense slightly out of focuse and may need to revisit this catagory at some point.  my dad might be defined as the flying monkey but when I analyze it he does way too much on his own to be off the hook and about 5 months ago 

"why are you telling everyone what im like? and you are telling everyone. Everyone who knows me already knows how i am." 


"i see what you do even when im not with you, i dont like this behavior but im going to sound ominios and tell you its pointless while i continue to hurt you regardless" 

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why don't you just

 play hide and go fuck yourself. instead of rub in how we fuck you and wouldn't take this ourselves as we dish it.